Eric Wainaina and Ntare Mwine

I was watching Eric’s “Daima” DVD which Big Al bought for me last year while on work safari to Kenya. I had heard about it from “Archer aka Mwanamishale” and decided to get it.  After watching a few numbers, “Ukweli” being one of my favourites as well as “Adhiambo”.. I googled him to see if he had anything new and found this.

(sorry! I don’t know how to embed the clip from CNN..and it is way past my bed time.. so just click on the link below and watch the three video clips) 

Enjoy.. there is more at http://edition.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/africa/04/19/a<script  Ebu we support our fellow kenyan. I love his music. Sorry but akina Noni, Nameless etc just don’t do it for me. I think my taste reflects my age. I  am more into Suzane Ownyi , Nyota Ndogo etc. However with these young guys and girls and the new sound sijui.. genge or whatever name has been decided on, I cannot buy their stuff. I do admit to like a few songs here and there.. for example Nameless’ “Salari”. Stupid crazy song, but I love it.

Then here is another Uganda making waves in Hollywood. I had never heard of him till I started watching “Heroes” season 3 and as the credits rolled I noticed this long ass name and was sure it was Ugandan.. so hello google and lo and behold he is kabisa Ugandan. Me, I was proud like he is my brother. He plays the part of “Usutu” the african who can see the future. and he is very muzuri to look at

Ntare Mwine

He has quite an interesting career in Arts and Entertainment. google then Wiki him and you will find out more.

oh and just in case you are wondering which other Ugandan is in Hollywood.. I actually went to school with her.. now isn’t that amazing. I get so tickled everytime I see her on screen,cause I actually know her.. not ati she was my friend or whatever but.. we went to school together. Here she is Ms Nana Hill.

 If you www.imdb.com her you will find out more about her career. for the movie “it’s a good day to be black and beautiful”.. what I will say is first read about the movie and imdb to get an idea of what it is you will be watching then proceed.. otherwise you will not get further than 6 mins like I did

One by one East Africans are taking over the world hehehehe!

Married affairs

I will try to do the post justice. It might not work since I will be retelling conversations between hubby and me. So if it does not make sense just ignore.

The reason I am posting is because a few days back I was speaking to my girlfriend’s husband, lets call him Ralph and we ended up talking for ages on the phone about a subject matter that had only recently been reharshed in my house.  To sum it all up I will call the topic  “How wives appreciate husbands”

Big Al has on occassion said that sometimes he just gives up trying to do stuff cause even when he does it at my nagging and demands, he gets no praise or appreciation for it. So it’s like why bother. My rebuttal to this  usually was “if it is stuff like picking up your socks and helping around the house, I don’t see why you need thanks.” To which he responded, “All I am saying is when I start doing the stuff you have been nagging me to do, I get nothing back from you . Like when I start spending more time with you guys instead of work, I don’t get “a positive” feed back”.

The first time he said this to me, I will be honest, I thought to myself “fucking hell, now what, I gotta kiss your ass for doing the right thing” but my passive agressive side just withdrew into a ka-cold war and into thinking about what he had said. I tell you my hubby is lucky, cause me, I always take time to think about what he has said, in order to asses whether what he says has some validity to it or he is talking outta his ass. So I got to thinking and thinking about the times I get pissed about him not “appreciating” MY efforts and attempts to please him or at his request/nag and I saw the light. In the same way I wanted him to tell me “well done” on having applied for that job or “you are are really good mother” or “the food you cooked was off the chain” or “you are one hot woman! or “you’re beautiful, I am amazed you chose me” (yes I’m needy like that ) was the same way he needed to here me say “it’s lovely you spent the time with us without mentioning work”  or a simple quick “thanks for doing the bed” or the big things like  “you’re so hot, you totally turn me on” or “I was thinking about all the hard work you do to keep a roof over our heads and stuff so I bought you this Ipod shuffle as a thank you”. It’s all the same. Men need it just as much as women do.. but it is different stuff for me and women.

So when  Ralph  was bringing up this stuff I was laughing cause Big Al and I had sorta finally just sorted this issue out (this time round) and to hear another guy more or less say the very thing that Big Al had been saying to me I was like “okay”. This stuff is seriously important.

Marriage is constant constant work. Forever tweaking and tankering with stuff allowing for two individuals to live together in harmony and happiness. I never want to stay married to Allan and feel that my dreams had to be sacrificed, yet at the same time I do realise me being married demands certain sacrifices on my part. Sacrifices that I find myself more and more willing to make because ultimately, I wanted to have children and I now want to raise DECENT HUMAN BEINGS and I can only do that in certain conditions. I know that for me being a stay at home wife is not right, yet I don’t want a job that requires me to work 37 hours a week (standart working week).  3 days a week, works perfectly for me. The more I plan for baby number 2 the more I find out about myself and what is important for me and sometimes it surprises me.

I like having a happy husband. I like being happy with my husband. I like my life as Big Al’s wife. I love and like what we have together and because of that I want to do stuff that makes us thrive as a couple and individually. I know a lot of single women reading this may not fully understand that part about appreciating the man in the way I described it above…. all I can say is “wait your turn then come tell me”. I think when anyone marrys right, its a beautiful thing.

One of my favourite things to do when walking in town is to observe all the older couples, walking together holding hands, it just makes me smile.  These days i like watching couples with kids in town, seeing thier interaction. You can always tell those that are still doing ok and those that well… “today was a bitch ass of a day” couples.

I no longer know what I am saying.  But my intial attempt was to say that men just like women need for thier loved ones to show thier appreciation to them. Nag him enough and he will tell you what he likes to hear from you, then you can take it away from there and remember in the same way you as a woman can tell he is faking.. so can he.

and as I finish off.. let me leave with you this ka-story

I remember while I was still working in the UK, a new collegue admited to me that she and hubby were having a rough patch and she was pissed that he never said nice things to her.  That day she was to meet him during our  lunch break and she was already in a mood so I said to her.. “just tell him something nice about himself do. Like he looks really good today or that the shirt is nice you know something”. She looked at me and shook her head as if to you say “yeah right”. Anyway so she went for the lucnh and when she got back she said nothing, then just before we left for home she said to me.

“oh you know that thing you said about telling him something nice, when he walked into the shop, he had his sun glasses on and he looked really cool and hot , so I told him so and he was really shocked and pleased.. we had a nice lunch”.

You know the romantic in me was pleased as punch.

have a complimenting day darlings.

 

“

him, me and Him.

don’t know why, but I just want to…. so here goes!

I apologise in advance for all the text being in one big block making it difficult to read.  things are just not working right and I am not willing to redo the post.  

22.05.09. He is now 2 years and 5 months old. Amazing how time flies.

July 09. After a day at the beach

July 09. After a day at the beach

It’s taken about 5 attempts to get this post up and running and now the cursor is stuck in the middle and I can’t move it back to the right.

 We have been home this week on our summer break. Actually an imposed summer break. Nikh’s day care closed for their annual 2 week summer break hence we were forced to stay home. Big Al was home the first week, while I worked then this week we have all been home. It has been so lovely, so lovely my visions of being a stay at home mum have intensified.. but let’s be realistic, it would not work long term. Good thing is that I have managed to complete a lot of things that were on my to do list. One of them was to apply for 2 jobs while on this break. So I sat down to start translating my CV into danish and was totally swamped. So was Big Al and finally I decided to have it translated professionally. Why it has taken me so long to have this done, I am still puzzling over that. It is costing me, but I figure it’s for the best.

Last night Big Al had me in stitches. We were talking and somehow got to reminiscing about living in the UK. He said

“remember how poor we were in England, those Friday nights when we would hunt down all the coins and money we had, go the chip shop and buy large chips and fish for like £2.50″

I laughed because the truth was we were so poor yet we didn’t even see it as being poor. At that time Big Al was a full time uni student and I had started working after finishing my studies. My salary at that time was £800 and our rent was £350 then there was council tax which was £90something, then electricity, water and heating and my monthly train ticket to work. Once all those costs were deducted we had like “NO MONEY”.

Big Al had savings which he used to pay for his studies and we slowly depleted them cause we had no money and we had both decided that he would not work while he studied nor would  either of us get a credit card. I remember travelling to Ug/Ke during those early years and someone saying to me that “you don’t look like you live abroad”. Money was tight those days, clothes and stuff was the last priority. We bought cheap cheap stuff and only when absolutely necessary. All my quality pieces were bought when shops would have like 70% sale. To date I think my most expensive item of clothing is winter jacket I bought for about £60 and it was crap. Even now I am hard pressed to buy anything at full price no matter how much I like it despite our money situation having improved (not as much but certainly better).  like the other day I found a skirt I really wanted for like DKK 150 and it was down from DKK 1200 when I intially saw it. Its finds like that that just make it impossible for me to spend big money on clothes and shoes. When it comes to furniture we have learned the hard way. We have bought cheap and paid the price, so we have decided that when we move into the new place, only quality stuff, no matter how long it takes us to save up to buy it.

I consider myself lucky that when it comes to money stuff, Big Al and I are on the same page. I won’t lie and say we don’t have mini fights and squibbles about money … we do. Usually it is because we have very different attitudes to money and we are still both learning how to accomodate the other’s perceptions and view points. I am tight fisted with it and he is easy with it. 

So that’s all folks. I am back to work next week. My  job hunt continues, my family here is good, back home things are goodish and life is good. Sina mengi

laters

Just because

When I find something I love and like of course I have to tell you about it.

Lots of blogs that focus on Africa focus on the NEGATIVE NEGATIVE NEGATIVE. Africa this that and the other! Generally I tend to stay away from them.

But but but, I think I have found a gem of a blog.  I love the photos, even the music. Let me first tell you how I hate blogs with music. Most times I don’t even stick around to read. When the music pops up.. I’m out!

But but but… this one is a gem stands out.

Anyway, stop by Yayemarie’s and see what she has on offer.  She demystifies West Africa for me. 

http://yayemarieba.blogspot.com/

MJ and Buying property in Denmark.

I watched the live transmission of Micheal Jackson’s memorial last night.  A tear almost fell.. the mango in the throat was gigantic. RIP. Al Sharpton’s speech was superb. I loved Jennifer Hudson’s performance and Lionel Richie had me wanting to attend service at Kampala Pentecostal this coming Sunday. I love love that song.

Houses.

Perhaps some of you can shed light on this. I have been comparing the house buying procedure here in Denmark to England and Uganda and find it very interesting. I am thinking that my memory may not serve me right hence the need for some clarification.

When shopping around for a house in Denmark, among the paper work you recieve is something called a “Tilstandsreport” this is a suveyor’s report about the condition of the property. Whatever he can see with his eyes (no machines are to be used) is noted down and this report is available to the buyer. It is valid for only a year.  On this report one can also see how much money the seller still owes the bank.  Big Al and I were getting really shocked because we would go see a house being sold for the equivalent of say$400,000 and on reading the report would see that the seller still owes say $300,000 and has been living there for 17 years and still has 30 years left on the mortgage yet the seller is in mid fifties or sixties. I was not understanding how that worked.

Anyway so when we were at the bank I just had to ask (that’s how one learns) and the bank guy explained it thus. In Denmark, the age of the buyer is not an issue because the house is a security. The bank will usually send out an independent valuer to the house to value the house. Because the value on the house is confirmed by this guy, the bank knows that they will get thier money bank should the buyer die hence if you are seventy and you want to buy a house at $1,000,000 and have at least 10% of the deposite they will loan you the money.  He also explained that many pensioners who have finished off paying thier mortagages also take out big loans on thier house as a source of income. So say you are 65 and your pension income is not good, but you have paid off your house, you go to the bank, get a very big loan and live off that money for the rest of your life, the bank secure in the knowledge they can also sell the house to recoup thier money. So your monthly payments on the loan are not very big.

When I compared this to England and Kenya (I may have my facts wrong so please correct me) the older you are the higher the deposite the bank will want and will offer you a shorter life span on your loan because you as the buyer are deemed a high risk. About a year ago, the bank that had fiananced the estate my mum lives in sent a representative to sell loans to folks on the estate. The loans were for folks wanting to re-do thier houses, you know things like painting, changing windows, redoing roofs etc. Mum was not approved cause she was not working at that time though the house is paid off and could have put up the house as security.

Anyways I find it interesting and would like to know if I have my facts right as regards the age of the buyer affecting the loan process in UK and Kenya.

Big Al is convicinced the main difference lies in the bank’s valuer’s presence. The fact that he goes out and ensures that the said value of the house is actually that. We are not sure if this happens in Kenya or UK and if it does then why do banks give older buyers a bit of a hard time??

You

If your job consists of sitting at a desk. Thank your god. If you job has you sitting at a desk using your brain, even more thanks. If your job entails you actually using your education, your brain and sitting a desk, you need to make an offering of thanks to the powers that be.

I HATE my job. My body tells me everyday we need to quit. My brain says, “good idea.. then what do we do after we quit”. At the end of the day, my fingers hurt, my feet hurt and ache, now and then I get crinks and aches in my back. My job is slowly killing me, meanwhile my job applications are still soliciting “we are sorry, we regret, at this point we will not being going further” responses. Ugh!

Last year I joined a women’s network and was hooked up with a mentor. Point of the mentorship is that she is there to provide guidance, advice and encouragement on how to “intergrate” into danish society and help the mentee build a professional network with the aim of getting a job. The women’s network is targeted towards non-danish, university educated women living in Demark who are having a hard time getting employed. I have met women from all over the world at this club. Before I got my current Kibarua (job) I used to attend the meetings, trainings, seminars etc until I realised it was going nowhere..then I got my job and I stopped going. Towards the end it just became too much of negative stories. I got tired of hearing how companies were not hiring foreigners, how hard it was to get work, how women had to re-train as social helpers or daycare nannies and I was like.. this is not for me.

The reason I am going on about my job is because on Friday I got  hassled around about a potential job.  There was a position advertised internally at work and after two weeks of seeing the job ad, I decided to try it out. It would have meant more more money and a later start time. Currently I start work at 6.15am. which means I am usually up by 5.00am to catch the 5,30am bus that gets me to work at 6.05am giving me enough time to change into my uniform and be at my work station at 6.15am. The new job had a start time of 7.00m and a later finish at 14.45 as opposed to my current 14.00pm. Anyway, I talked to my superviser, she was like.. nope the positon is not filled and if you are interested, let me talk to the supervisor at that station and get back to you. She gets back to me saying I should go there Friday, get a hang of the job, if I like it, the job’s mine.. if not, report back to work on monday morning as usual. This conversation took place on Monday.

Come Friday I am at the new place.  I get into uniform and get attached to my trainer of the day. Oh I forget.. the job was as a “Sengevask” = bed washer. The job is exactly what the title says. Wash beds. The beds come in from the wards stripped of all linen. You wipe down the mattress, then move it to position A.  Roll the metal frame of the bed into the wet area, using a nice powered hose, hose the bed with water. Then move it to poisition B. GEt matteress from position A. Lay it on bed, make up the bed with the linens, roll bed out into corridor. Bed will later be picked up by some other guy.  The job is more physically demanding than what I currently do. The mattresses are the issue, they are heavy and you have to move them from bed to position A and back from position A to bed. I did two beds and figured this job was not for me..

Anyway later in the day, after me asking if the position was filled and everyone drawing a blank, the supervisor comes to me and says the position was filled internally on Thursday and had no one told me not to come. I was like huh! I spoke to supervisor on MOnday and all was settled. I did not work thursday so I got no feedback.. but if position is filled no probs.

I was kinda put off by the lack of info and them wasting my time. There was talk of me being used as a substitute when they are short and I was like. No thanks, I wanted it a full time positon. Working as a sub won’t work for me and my life right now. Thanks but no thanks.

So that was my work drama this week. At the same time I am glad I did not get it because the bus connection out to that place is hellish and with us moving out of town soon, it would have been a hassle. Big Al and I have talked back and forth about a second car. Jury is still out. Car ownership in Denmark is very expensive. It’s not the price of the car nor fuel. It is all the taxes. There a two yearly taxes that you have to pay. Then there is insurance which is bloody expensive etc etc. When you add the cost of having two cars.. Most Danes actually have one car. Very few own two cars.

Remember if you have a desk job. Thank God! What I would do for a desk job. Imagine you sit at a desk the whole day. Me I get to stand for 8 hours straight doing some repetitive motion. I need to get something else soon. Screw finance crisis.

Happy sitting

Naughty stuff

Why I am telling you this.. I don’t know.. guess I just want you to smile.

I’m on some medication and will be on it for some time. Nothing major. Got a letter from the doctor a few days ago and results were fine and dandy.

The medication has a number of side effects. One of which is a crazy tingling feeling in the limbs. Remember I mentioned it here. Turned out that is what it was. I had just started the stuff and had not made the correlation.

The other side effect can go two ways. One is up the other is down.. for me it is up. How did I know this, while cruising the web looking for more info about the drug I am on, I found a support group forum for people on it and read through it.

My libido is off the charts. The other day I asked Big Al after revealing a few things to him about my current situation, which by the way he is ABSOLUTELY loving. As  far as he is concerned if I can be on this medication for life… he will not be complaining.

so I said to him “Is this how men think about sex all the time.. cause I have sex on the brain non-stop and it is bloody exhausting” He smiled and nodded “yup.. that is how it is for guys”. I was like dang!

I’m just glad it is not the other way as in decreased libido. Not even sure that the word libido can be used in relation to women and nope I don’t feel like checking it up

So here is a few tips to all of y’all that are feeling sexy.

Married sex is very good sex. I won’t lie quantity is likely to decrease over the years.. but you GOTTA SPICE it up. ati how you ask me.. JUST GOOGLE ala .. In our house QUALITY has never been an issue.. quantity.. hey,,, show me a married couple that ain’t bitching about quantity.. now if you have probs with quantity and quality.. you got issues baby.. for real

have a sexy read! I know I’m getting some tonight lol .

Past few weeks

Nimekula nimeshiba, mpaka tumbo yani uma! Gluttony at it’s best. I will not be repeating this any time soon, I am sooo uncomfortable. can’t sleep.

I don’t know about where you’re at lakini hapa it is hot hot hot! There is no doubt that the sun in Denmark in summer is hotter than any other sun I have been exposed to in my many few travels. It burns. Sit in it for 10 mins and it starts to sting and burn like sharp needle points. Very different from Kenya or Uganda. My memories of it is more like a flat burn. You know like when you are seated in a car driving and the sun gets really hot, the burn is not uncomfy.. here it another story all together.  Let me just say I am loving it all

Denmark in summer is very lovely. Town feels like one big party f. Everyone and their mother is in town, colors abound, more flesh on display both male and female and may I say just say I am enjoying all the fleshy display , folks are eating out on the terraces. I am loving going to town, loving the heat.. just loving the sizzling atmosphere that is summer.

My life:

So so much is happening right now. So much that I am finding it hard to catch a moment to breath. We have finally FINALLY found a place of our own and have been running up and down doing all the necessary paperwork. Just so you know.. the law in Denmark states that a non-danish citizen cannot buy property if they have not been living in the country for more than 5 years. There are a few loopholes in that law that can be circumvented.. but I think this is what AFrican countries should be doing to protect their assests. As explained to us, this law is to protect against foreign investors coming in and siezing big chunks of land etc etc.. Anyway back to the property stuff. I’m in a place of shock, fear, excitment etc because for sooo long I have wanted my own house. FOR SO LONG. Those who know me can attest to this. When we moved to Demark I felt like I had kissed goodbye to so many things and this was one of them. For it to finally be happening is like a wow moment. I am a bit behind schedule but I have gotten there.

All this stuff with the house got me thinking as to why my move to Denmark caused such emotional and mental upheavl in my life and it is basically this. (I know I have probably said this somewhere before..) All my life.. growing up, I was a good girl. Was not a rebellious teenager, never bothered my parents with boys, didn’t demand anything, did my best in my studies (though I was and remain a very “average” student…yup, I passed my course with very average results.. boring!.. but decent pass). I did all these things because I believed after being taught that being good paid off. That if I did all as I was to do.. my dreams and life would pan out as planned. Bollocks! After my BA degree I had a rude shock. When all my former classmates were getting jobs in corporate Kampala.. I was still floundering in the streets of Kampala trying to get a hook up bila luck.  Then I went to UK to do my masters .. after really carefully considering what I should do.. and bought into the whole thing of .. “so and so’s daughter did her masters and now she works for XYZ blue chip company and is minting money”. Bollocks again.  Didn’t pan out for me like that.  When I look back I can see why.. first.. my average results throughtout my academic life, secondly my ignorance during those first years when it came to filling out those long ass application forms that bluechip companys so love, thirdly, my lack of specialisation or niching…and last by not least my age and last perhaps is just plain bad luck or it was not written.. who knows.

So moving Denmark had me losing my job, my identity and my opportunity to build a career life… .it just about killed me because my expectations of myself were not matching with the reality that was my life. In UK I had worked so hard to get my foot on to my career ladder and just when I had, I decided to follow hubby here. Colossal ass mistake. My first year here was horrible. Horrible for me, horrible for my husband cause I bitched like crazy. It is only last year that I was able to tell him…. “if I had not been pregnant.. I was so leaving you”. That year I went home twice.. twice… and both times it about me trying to decide if I was living him or not.. actually i went home once then went to England….whether I could do the single mother thing, cause at that time.. love was just not enough for me.

I look at where I am today and I kind of marvel. One, that we didn’t break up as a couple (cause I tell you I was not nice to be around, I complained about Denmark, I blamed him indirectly for not knowing how shit Denmark was to foreigners with career hopes, I blamed him for destroying my life, I blamed me for being stupid… ati.. I love a man so much I followed him) Two.. I marvel at how much I have gotten to know myself and look at all the stuff that I wanted, thought I wanted, stuff I have let go of , stuff I have held on to..Sometimes I look at myself and I think.. “dang girl.. you are the shizzle (ala Snoop Dog). Three…that a a couple we are in a good place right now. I said to Big Al the other day, I am so looking forward to moving in with you again”. It’s another new begining for us and I am looking forward to it. This time I am prepared. No false expectations. I am ready to for the good, the bad and the ugly.

So there you have it, that’s what’s happening in my life right now.. I am gloriously happy, stressed, busy and moving along with life. Sometimes I feel fearless. Like.. I know what it means to have shattered dreams (am talking about my career and the fact that my career was greatly tied to my identity of my self). I now know I can survive that and move on…so bring it on baby.. I’m ready

I know that this post has no flow….