Saturday

My saturday has been lazy, cozy and wonderful. Hope yours was the same. Nothing beats an unstressful Saturday where I get to be lazy do things at my own /family pace and still manage to get some house work done.

I did two batches of laundry, went window shopping with Big Al and Nikh for paint and detoured by “Clearance” furniture sale place where I saw a chair that I WANT. Big Al was getting overwhelmed cause I was like, “we should get that one, that one and that one”. In the end he was like  “shut it….. we are not getting anything till we move in. Me I was like “I am getting my chair”.

We got some good news yesterday. We were supposed to get the keys to the new house at the end of the month, however the couple has since moved out and are willing to hand over the keys early next week.  It is absolutely fantastic cause we will have enough time to paint the house…. hence the window shopping for the house and move in slowly while making the deadline for leaving our current apartment. Did I tell you all I viewed the house only once and signed on the dotted line. By the time we found our house, we had  been to so many viewings, Big Al and I were both getting fed up, then there was the fact that we were shopping for a house of a certain size within a certain price range which just made it next to impossible to find something we both felt..”wow” about. So by the time we walked into this house I said to him ..”this is it babes. This is our house”

But I detract from the point of this post, its about my saturday. So yeah that was about all I have done today. It is now 22:10. Big Al has just taken Nikh to put him to bed. Yes it is late but on Saturdays he does this 3.5hr nap in the afternoon, meaning there is no way he is going to bed at his usual time.

After this post I am going to fold a whole load of laudry to put away tomorrow morning cause I want to get up, go running, get back and go grocery shopping before midday and laze the rest of the day away.

Finally I am getting to why I am blogging.

Just finished watching “District 9″. LOVED IT! I don’t think I have told you this but I am a sci-fi chick. All movies sci-fi action adventure I am there.  How many times have I watched “Alien and Aliens and Alien the resurrection”. Some of what I consider the all time best are

•  Predator (The original)
• Alien and Aliens
• The Matrix 1 and Matrix 3 (didn’t feel 2 at all)
• Alien vs Predator (some folks thought it sucked.. I w as entertained)
• District 9

I will admit to not having watched any of the “Star Wars” flicks and therefore do not qualify as a die hard sci-fi fan.. (who said)

Anyway i also watched “Next Day Air”. It has been so long since I laughed like that. Big Al and I both loved it to death.

Whenever I watch movies I usually go to www.imdb.com to check out reviews and comments and was disappointed that “Next Day Air” got a 6.7/10 which I felt was unfair. But Big Al explained it thus. He said that “if you do not know/understand black american culture, then you will not understand some of the jokes, so probably that’s why the low rating”. I think he was on to something.

So that’s it from me. Wanna watch something, check out “Next Day Air” and “District 9″

goodnight.

Last Night – Ladies Circle

So let me tell you about last night. I am still pumped.

First, I was really really proud of me. I held my own, didn’t display my stupidity which tends to rise when I am amongst new, what-I-think -to-be-impressive people! (what a mouthfull). I was calm cool and collected, like James Bond, only the chick version.

Remember I have mentioned that I joined a women’s association and got matched to a mentor. Well my mentor thought it would be good for me to get into another women’s association that is primarily danish. The idea is that through the association I would learn (or as the goverment likes to put it “intergrate”) better into Danish society. Anyway my mentor, let’s call her Annie, thought it would be good for me to get to have a “network” of proffessional danish women. Her being a member, she hooked me up. I passed the “screening interview” back in January. I would have joined then, but I had just started school, and my job so was not willing to commit to something else til i was finished with school. So we agreed that I would attend my first meeting after I was out of school and after the summer break.

That was last night and wow! Oh wow! It was like another world all together. For the firstime since I came to Denmark I was in the presence of women like myself. Duh! not the skin color, but career women with jobs and families. The group is called Ladies Circle. (www.ladiescirlce.org) You can read more about them, but basically it is more like the  Chama za Kina mama groups back home of which my mother has been a member of countless number. Her most current seems to be her most fun. Same principle, though with the added extra of somtimes having presentations from companies etc etc.

So on to the women. These women si kidogo. As in without this hook up, I would never have seen this side of middle class Denmark. My social contacts here are limited to less than a handful of African friends. Actually 3, who are university educated, middle class women. The rest of my of social life consists of my husband’s family. My best friend (if you are reading this, I do consider you my best ) lives in England and she is like my main “friend/conversation outlet. Without her, I would basicallyhave given up on Europe and been a hermit. I love you!

So it was interesting to see what life is like in this part of the social ladder  and very EYE OPENING. Here is the thing, it is the same, whether is it Kenya, Uganda or England. Middle upper class is the same accross the world. Same aspirations, same values, same same same. But I had not been exposed to it here in Denmark.

It was fun to see the number of BMWs, Audis, Toyota (in DK it is a high end car). To note the expensive shoes and clothes, the watches… salala.. the rings.. oh my!

But heres the best part, I held my own baby not in terms of clothes or jewlery, but my own in terms of I was ok in my skin and I loved that. There was a time I would have been awed but I have slowly come to realise that just because my career is in the dumps it does not take away from the fact that I am a sensible, smart, intelligent, self-loving person who has a lot to contribute and add. Due to the financial situation a number of the women there have been dealing with being fired and there I was totally understanding how they feel and thinking.. “we are all the same” no difference at all.

So what did I get out of it apart from the obvious, becoming a member etc. It reinforced that Mrembo has it going on. That I am a woman of worth and as long as I keep on doing my thing to be the best I can be in all facets of my life I am totally ok and I love that.

Be fulfilled.

Housekeeping

1. I occasionally, as in very occasionally get emails from my blog. It is so occassional that I don’t log in to it for weeks at a time. So I would like to say that it is not that I am ignoring you it is just that because I HARDLY EVER get any emails there, I HARDLY EVER check it hence my often delayed responses. When I do get an email, you should see my smile. I promise to check it more often , at least once a week. So don’t be put off if I have not responsed.

That was all.

bye

My baby

What does it say of my mothering when my son’s all time favourite song is “Forever” by Chris Brown. That he is slowly learning the words and sings along when he can.

Or that one of his new words is “Holy crap”… tickled me funny the first time I heard it off him. We were  cuddling on the couch watching some kids tv or cartoon  and I was reading something, when out of the blue or so it seemed to me he said “Holy crap” at something on the screen. I laughed my head off. I know, totally wrong… but could not help myself.

His favourite movie of all time is “Alivin and the Chipmunks”  aka chi munx, which we have watched 1.5million times. His current DVD of the moment is Eric Wainanin’s “Daima” which is a must see every day when we get back from daycare. Today I got dragged from the kitchen (where I was cooking pilau which I had been hungering for for over a week) into the living room to dance with him to “Adhiambo”. His favourite song on the dvd is “Nchi ya kitu Kidogo” and he totally loves the opening scene.

And finally he has a new thing where in order to get to bath we get all his small plastic toy friends into the bath. They are.. in no particular order Postman Per, Peter Plys (English version is Winnie the Pooh), Teddy, Ajay, Tiger. Works like a charm.

He lights up my world!

Goodnight lovies.

PS ever noticed how all or majority of my blog entries are done late in the evening. That’s when I usually get a moment.

Oh and last thing. I have been getting some pretty strange friend requests on Facebook and I do ignore. Thing is if I do not know you I WILL ignore you. I don’t like the whole, I don’t know you but wanna be your friend.

PSSS. Nikh’s toy train just started singing all on it’s own. How creepy. It’s 23:03 and I am in the livingroom. Me thinks we have a resident ghost.. woooh hooo!

How come?

I don’t like her. Why? Can’t even tell you why. Not that she has done anything to me. Infact she has been nothing but friendly and nice but still I don’t like her. It’s hard to admit this since I consider myself a decent person. I just don’t not like people. But her, something about her rubs me the wrong way, a vibe, an air that she gives off that totally makes me not like her.

Am I jealous of her. That is the only other plausible reason. I try to be nice around her, infact I sought put myself in her space, a weird compulsion, but I do. I guess it is true, instict and all. My first impression of her, the very first time we met was “bitch, stupid and naive”. That was after listening to her, yet the lady who introduced me to her calls her friend. So again I ask

“Mrembo baby, are you jealous? Is it because she has “a seemingly better life, whatever that means. Is it because she seems not to have suffered, or is it her air of entitlement!”

All I know is that I don’t like her and I think my suspcisons of jealousy are the root cause and that totally IRKS me cause I DON’T DO JEALOUSY!

On my mind

Heartwarming is …. unsolicited, spontaneous kisses form Nikh (my son) when he is super dupper happy with his mommy.

Heartwrenching is …..him crying his heart out when I dropped him off at daycare today. He just was not feeling it.. and has not been for past 2-3 weeks.

Triumph is… walking out of the “eat-all-you-can” restuarant after having a normal sized portion plate of food.

Agony is…. waking up 3 times in the night to clean up puke because baby is sick. my poor poor baby!

Frustration is …. being horny and hubby unable to carry out his husbandly duties because he is as sick as Nikh

Utter frustration is….. being horny and having horny dreams and not getting some cause .. well He is sick.. and I don’t really wanna get sick either.

Proud is….. seeing your husband ran his first EVER 5 km race after just 18 days of training and finishing in 37min 37sec. Yup.. total hero of mine.

Funny is …..hubby seeing me this morning in my “house work dress” and saying, “you have to throw out that dress it is so ugly”..(yup it went out). I laughed my head off. Yes it was ugly, but it was for housework ala!

Demanding is …..me telling hubby “I want big romantic gestures from you, diamonds and flowers”. He looks at me and laughs, pulls me into his arms and says ” I do romantic things for you everyday, I tell you how beautiful you are, (can’t tell you the rest) .. and wash the dishes” Me: “Washing dishes does not count, that’s every day stuff. I want  jewlery, flowers, candles, lights, I’m in the mood for big ROMANTIC GESTURES” Him: “shit, I could just go out and pay someone to get laid, don’t have to put up with all these demands” Me: Just you frigging try… “

Unexplainable is…. my sudden need for that BIG ROMANTIC GESTURE… why the hankering for it.. me don’t know

Eventuality is …. him delievering my BIG ROMANTIC GESTURE lol

Calm is…. not knowing what is going to happen in a few months time and so not being moved by it all. I am so proud of me..

a person loved is… .. I don’t have the time to say it all but one word suffices…. me

 

I’m feeling lovey dovey, so kisses to all of you.

Johnnie baby!

John Legend does it for me. Totally totally.

I’m feeling lousy. I’m sick. We’ve been sick. I got it last. It sucks, I’m unbalanced. My head is swimming, my stomach squeezes and churns. i hate being sick. Then John Legend and I’m in love!

Yayemarie did a feature spot on “Freshly Ground’s” Zolani  and since then I am hooked. Youtube them.

And while you are there, check out some of my favourites

Letta Mbulu’s Nomalizo

Mafikizolo’s Emlanjeni and Mathsokoze

Iryn Namubiru’s Obasinga

John Legend’s Must be the way

Freshly Ground’s Nomvula

Eric Wainaina’s Mwana leta Pesa (can’t wait for his new album. PS. Nikh loves him, he gets back from daycar and says.. Mummy, Eric… Eric.. and so we pop in the DVD and get some Eric)

Those are just a few of my favourite songs.

John Legend’s good! i had forgotten.

 

PS: I have been real hopless at responding to a number of comments made on previous entries.. so (in my best celeb breathless voice) I love you all, I know that without you, my readers, this blog would be nothing (you wish), and thank you from the bottom of my heart of supporting me all these years. Mwah mwah mwah. Love y’all.

 

Mwari… where are you???? Najua internet is now up and running! hope you´re good!

Mothering 101

One of the side effects of that drug that I am on (apart from increased libido) is insomnia. It totally totally sucks! You know that feeling, when you are dead tired. Put in 8 hours at work, played with Nikh, cooked supper, cleared the dishes (Baba baby washes him). I get to bed feeling like the world in on my shoulders. Hit the mattress and nada, no sleep! No freaking sleep. My mind will not shut down. Do everything I know to clear my mind, zilch! I have less than a handful of pills remaining and have decided to convince the doc that I can go off it. If he refuses then I am choosing to get pregnant ahead of schedule . Anything to get off the meds. At least I know I am off it for about 2 years.

For all you with kids, those of you with wilful boys or daughters and nope it’s just not the age, it’s part of his character. How do you discipline.

Nikh has a spine of steel. Even at daycare they said to me he is one of their more stubborn kids. If he sets his mind on wanting or gettin something and it is not something he is going to get because I have decreed it, game on baby. It’s not easy. I hate having to be the enforcer and it does not help that Big Al is a softie and Nikh has sussed that out. So now its like if mum says no, he goes straight to dad and he will pull out all his tricks mpaka dad gives in. Nikh’s tricks include screaming at a pitch so high, your ear drums and mind start spinning. If that does not work, whine whine whine. If that does not cry loud, like we are killing him. Most times it works on dad, me I am stone face.  I put him in his room till he calms down and says sorry.

Because I am enforcer, Nikh totally prefers dad over me and it nags me.  So today I said to Big Al, you also have to start enforcing, he cannot be getting mixed signals from us. Thing is though, he absolutely does not listen to Big Al. The funniest thing is to see Big Al telling him off and Nikh comes over and slaps him and says “stop it papa”. He pulled that slapping prank on me once and it stopped there.  Whenever his little hand begins to rise up I just give him a look.. which he so knows how to give back!

Most of my african accquaintanices keep saying, “that is boys for you”. Me I am like..eh… what?? So back to the discipline question. Right now putting him in his room is loosing effect cause he walks out of the room crying, straight into my arms for hugs and comfort. Before it would work like magic. Spanking and pinching does not seem to work, not that I use it much.. but when I try I just get a baby who is so hurt and confused, I feel like crying too.

So what do you do.

Eric Wainaina and Ntare Mwine

I was watching Eric’s “Daima” DVD which Big Al bought for me last year while on work safari to Kenya. I had heard about it from “Archer aka Mwanamishale” and decided to get it.  After watching a few numbers, “Ukweli” being one of my favourites as well as “Adhiambo”.. I googled him to see if he had anything new and found this.

(sorry! I don’t know how to embed the clip from CNN..and it is way past my bed time.. so just click on the link below and watch the three video clips) 

Enjoy.. there is more at http://edition.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/africa/04/19/a<script  Ebu we support our fellow kenyan. I love his music. Sorry but akina Noni, Nameless etc just don’t do it for me. I think my taste reflects my age. I  am more into Suzane Ownyi , Nyota Ndogo etc. However with these young guys and girls and the new sound sijui.. genge or whatever name has been decided on, I cannot buy their stuff. I do admit to like a few songs here and there.. for example Nameless’ “Salari”. Stupid crazy song, but I love it.

Then here is another Uganda making waves in Hollywood. I had never heard of him till I started watching “Heroes” season 3 and as the credits rolled I noticed this long ass name and was sure it was Ugandan.. so hello google and lo and behold he is kabisa Ugandan. Me, I was proud like he is my brother. He plays the part of “Usutu” the african who can see the future. and he is very muzuri to look at

Ntare Mwine

He has quite an interesting career in Arts and Entertainment. google then Wiki him and you will find out more.

oh and just in case you are wondering which other Ugandan is in Hollywood.. I actually went to school with her.. now isn’t that amazing. I get so tickled everytime I see her on screen,cause I actually know her.. not ati she was my friend or whatever but.. we went to school together. Here she is Ms Nana Hill.

 If you www.imdb.com her you will find out more about her career. for the movie “it’s a good day to be black and beautiful”.. what I will say is first read about the movie and imdb to get an idea of what it is you will be watching then proceed.. otherwise you will not get further than 6 mins like I did

One by one East Africans are taking over the world hehehehe!

Married affairs

I will try to do the post justice. It might not work since I will be retelling conversations between hubby and me. So if it does not make sense just ignore.

The reason I am posting is because a few days back I was speaking to my girlfriend’s husband, lets call him Ralph and we ended up talking for ages on the phone about a subject matter that had only recently been reharshed in my house.  To sum it all up I will call the topic  “How wives appreciate husbands”

Big Al has on occassion said that sometimes he just gives up trying to do stuff cause even when he does it at my nagging and demands, he gets no praise or appreciation for it. So it’s like why bother. My rebuttal to this  usually was “if it is stuff like picking up your socks and helping around the house, I don’t see why you need thanks.” To which he responded, “All I am saying is when I start doing the stuff you have been nagging me to do, I get nothing back from you . Like when I start spending more time with you guys instead of work, I don’t get “a positive” feed back”.

The first time he said this to me, I will be honest, I thought to myself “fucking hell, now what, I gotta kiss your ass for doing the right thing” but my passive agressive side just withdrew into a ka-cold war and into thinking about what he had said. I tell you my hubby is lucky, cause me, I always take time to think about what he has said, in order to asses whether what he says has some validity to it or he is talking outta his ass. So I got to thinking and thinking about the times I get pissed about him not “appreciating” MY efforts and attempts to please him or at his request/nag and I saw the light. In the same way I wanted him to tell me “well done” on having applied for that job or “you are are really good mother” or “the food you cooked was off the chain” or “you are one hot woman! or “you’re beautiful, I am amazed you chose me” (yes I’m needy like that ) was the same way he needed to here me say “it’s lovely you spent the time with us without mentioning work”  or a simple quick “thanks for doing the bed” or the big things like  “you’re so hot, you totally turn me on” or “I was thinking about all the hard work you do to keep a roof over our heads and stuff so I bought you this Ipod shuffle as a thank you”. It’s all the same. Men need it just as much as women do.. but it is different stuff for me and women.

So when  Ralph  was bringing up this stuff I was laughing cause Big Al and I had sorta finally just sorted this issue out (this time round) and to hear another guy more or less say the very thing that Big Al had been saying to me I was like “okay”. This stuff is seriously important.

Marriage is constant constant work. Forever tweaking and tankering with stuff allowing for two individuals to live together in harmony and happiness. I never want to stay married to Allan and feel that my dreams had to be sacrificed, yet at the same time I do realise me being married demands certain sacrifices on my part. Sacrifices that I find myself more and more willing to make because ultimately, I wanted to have children and I now want to raise DECENT HUMAN BEINGS and I can only do that in certain conditions. I know that for me being a stay at home wife is not right, yet I don’t want a job that requires me to work 37 hours a week (standart working week).  3 days a week, works perfectly for me. The more I plan for baby number 2 the more I find out about myself and what is important for me and sometimes it surprises me.

I like having a happy husband. I like being happy with my husband. I like my life as Big Al’s wife. I love and like what we have together and because of that I want to do stuff that makes us thrive as a couple and individually. I know a lot of single women reading this may not fully understand that part about appreciating the man in the way I described it above…. all I can say is “wait your turn then come tell me”. I think when anyone marrys right, its a beautiful thing.

One of my favourite things to do when walking in town is to observe all the older couples, walking together holding hands, it just makes me smile.  These days i like watching couples with kids in town, seeing thier interaction. You can always tell those that are still doing ok and those that well… “today was a bitch ass of a day” couples.

I no longer know what I am saying.  But my intial attempt was to say that men just like women need for thier loved ones to show thier appreciation to them. Nag him enough and he will tell you what he likes to hear from you, then you can take it away from there and remember in the same way you as a woman can tell he is faking.. so can he.

and as I finish off.. let me leave with you this ka-story

I remember while I was still working in the UK, a new collegue admited to me that she and hubby were having a rough patch and she was pissed that he never said nice things to her.  That day she was to meet him during our  lunch break and she was already in a mood so I said to her.. “just tell him something nice about himself do. Like he looks really good today or that the shirt is nice you know something”. She looked at me and shook her head as if to you say “yeah right”. Anyway so she went for the lucnh and when she got back she said nothing, then just before we left for home she said to me.

“oh you know that thing you said about telling him something nice, when he walked into the shop, he had his sun glasses on and he looked really cool and hot , so I told him so and he was really shocked and pleased.. we had a nice lunch”.

You know the romantic in me was pleased as punch.

have a complimenting day darlings.

 

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