In a few days it will be exactly one month since I set foot on Danish soil.
When I first found out FOR SURE, that we were moving to Denmark, my research on relocating here reached epic propotions and in the process I found www.expatnet.dk. The discussion forum (albeit a little out of date) scared the living day lights out of me. I got a severe case of cold feet. I thought that maybe the folks there had exaggerated. Most opinions seemed to end with "Its very rough, however it is a good place once you get settled in". A talk with a few good friends and Big Al sorta alleviated my fears and hey presto the rest is history.
I have already relocated twice in my life and the first time was the roughest due to my age. Language was an issue even though the official language was and is English. I had to learn the language in order to fit in the then new society. The second time was to the UK was rough, but given that I speak/read/write English, I found my way around. Being a student helped, we foreign students could come together gripe about the new strange land we were in. Little ancedote: When I finally got to my dorm room, I sat down and had a good cry, then tried to figure out a way to call dad and ask him if I could come back home.
This time has been rather hard. My emotions are ALL OVER THE PLACE. Ranging from anger, paranoia, anger, depression, euphoria and more anger. Monday was a day made in Danish Hell. Looking back the whole episode was funny – however it ended with me, standing at a corner, wearing by big badass shades, crying into the phone to Big Al. I mean big ugly hiccuppy cry! :-).
It is HARD HARD HARD. I have had a lot of time for introspection and have come to the following conclusion.
If I were a non ambitious, happy to stay at home, African woman whom Big Al found in some remote village and the idea of being shipped off to the "paradise" that is Western Europe (sarcasim intended) then maybe I would be estatic about being here. Instead the opposite applies.
I am having to draw on resouces that I only discovered I had when I was in England job hunting..(lord knows I could write a book about that). I am fighting a battle that has been waged by the armies of Depression, Anger and Blame sombody else for this mess. I have dubbed this war Operation Mrembo's Sanity. The battle is hard, sometimes I lose some sometimes I win some. Today was a win who knows what tomorrow holds.
All is not lost. Ultimatum made. I am giving this place 6 months. Deadline October 31st 2006. I here voices saying 6 months is too short. I say, Life is too short! I am not about to lose myself in a bid to nurture love. Like I said to my dear dear friend, I thought love was everything, but I am sure finding out that love ain't all. It boils down to the essence that is Mrembo. The stakes seem to be Mrembo's essence or love……you decide.. me… I have made up my mind.
And don't worry, Big Al knows all about this.
For those intersted in knowing more about Denmark, I present: http://skovgaard.org/europe/denmark.htm