www. dictionary.com defines it as;
- A bittersweet longing for things, persons or situations of the past.
- The condition of being homesick, homesickness.
After stating that I was feeling nostalgic, Big Al asked me if I really was longing for things of the past, persons and situation. I quickly replied that I was.. and on further thought realised that that as not really how I was feeling.. but then again.. that is where the “bittersweet” part comes in. Did I really want to go back to the past? Emphatically, NO. Yet at the same time, there are many aspects of the past that I long for, and more recently have I been able to pin down exactly what it is…INNONCENCE and YOUTH.
With youth comes the innonocence of allowing yourself to dream. As a young girl, in my dreams I was a giant. Nothing could stop me, the world was my oyster. We were encouraged to dream big at school and at home and I think, more than most people I know , I bought into it, hook, line and sinker. Its loss by way of LIFE has been rather dishearting, alluring and inspiring.
Adulthood is hard. Let no man lie to you. It is hard and yet at the same weird time, it is exhilarating, liberating and to put a sexual spin on it, erotic. There are times my own life fascinates and awes me and I cannot believe the person I am. Sometimes, my life seems boring and dull and monotonous. I guess that is life.
It is only now that I truly comprehend the burden of parents. How on earth is one really supposed to prepare thier offspring for life, I mean really. Forget the education, shelter, discipline, manners… all that stuff is important, but on some level, it does not even being to touch what life truly is when you leave your parents nest.
Back to nostalgia, you know what I miss;
- going to auntie’s house on a weekend and having tea with chapati or tea with bread while talking and laughing until the sun goes down.
- going for a relatives wedding and extended family is together and that feeling of happiness and joy, cause all the beef has been put on PAUSE for the day and everyone is just one big clan.
- Eating pilau and chicken.
- driving around on sunday and calling your buddy while you’re at the “roundabout” and informing her we are about to descend on her.. without having to book a bloody appointment.
- Roasting nyam choms with your pals, they drink Tusker baridi, I get a Fanta baridi, meanwhile we sit and narrate some outrageous stories, you know he/she is lying, but it’s all good.
- Calling every woman your mum’s age “auntie” or “Mama so and so”
- But most of all, I miss the family get togethers. My extended maternal family is big on this and you can be guranteeded that at least 2 Sunday there is a lunch somewhere.
Join me in toasting to life, whatever it is, may you have it more and more abundantly!!!