A few things about me

Archive for July, 2006

Hey!

Things are kinda looking up …. sorta.. slowly ….

If you have not watched “V for Vendetta” go out now and get it… loved it loved it and enjoyed it .. In my world movies fall into the following categories,

  • Entertaining…. a lot of Jerry Bruckhiemer movies are thus… entertaining and that is about it.
  • Thought provoking and thrilling.. eg City of “God”, “Crash”, “Dirty Pretty Things”… one hell of a movie
  • Thought provoking, intelligent and entertaining…. “V for Vendetta”
  • “Its just a movie” Blah….
  • Boring…. “Harry Potter 4″… that was one boring movie
  • Why the heck did I even get this movie….. countless…

I loves me some romance. My favorite pass time involves reading good romance novels… very very rarely will one find  nice romantic movie… (note to all fools…. romace does not equal erotica)… I loved the way the romance in this movie was done.. very subtle and yet it was ever so there…. ah,I am in love with V! and Big Al thinks that Natalie Portman rocks….!!! (food for thought 🙂 )

On to another topic….

In the journey to saving myself from the throes of lugbriousness I have had to answer the question “WHO AM I”. It has taken me a while to find the answer to that question.. I always thought the question demanded the obvious answer;

  • I am a teacher
  • I am a mother
  • I am a hardworking person etc etc

Oprah and her new pyschologist friend, Dr Robin said that such answers do not answer the question…. to answer as such is to list the characteristics of who one is and do not tell who one is…

So with nothing but time on my hands, I have been thinking very hard as to who I am and I am glad to report I have the answer…. here it goes.

Who am I?

I am a soul on earth

Who am I?

A soul that answers to a name

Who am I?

A soul in a body, a body on earth

Who am I

I am searching soul

Who am I

I am a soul, searching for the reason why

Why I am, why here

Who am I

I am a soul, searching for my way home!

 And that ladies and gentlemen, has given me some semblence of peace  because I think……. now for the first time, I know who I am … I know not why I am or why here, but it is enough that I am and here and that one day I will return home… wherever that may be…..

Have a soulful day!

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Home

I am going home in 3 weeks time and I am so so 🙂 That is my light at the end of the tunnel.

My general well being has been 😦 and I feel like that almost all of the time so the chance to go home has lifted my spirits and I AM GOING HOME!

If the Mountain won’t come to….

Mrembo, then Mrembo will climb the frigging mountain and break it down…!

 I have just got two very big ideas for business and I think I am going to put them into action.  That is all I am saying for now…..

Otherwise.. I am fine and just bumbling along, don’t have much to say and I have determined that if I have nothing positive, uplifting or interesting to say, then I will not blog.. if I did, this place will become a whine zone and I refuse to let that be.

I am down so low and need to see light at the end of the tunnel.. it is really dark and there seems to not be even a flicker.. .

 I will return when I see the light…

Keep me in your prayers.

Music

Can anyone make any recommendations for where I can buy some Kenyan and Ugandan music online.

 Back in Feb when I was home, I listened to “Vuta Pumzi” by the Longoma Brothers and “Chonga Viazi”… can’t remember who did that one.

I feel  like music from home and I want to buy some….. recommendations are also highly appreiciated.

3 Months and Counting

Is the fact that I am counting how long I have been in Denmark a good or bad sign! Me, I don’t know. All I know is that I am still oscillating between “I absolutely hate this place” to “its an okayish place….kinda”

I have been doing a lot of soul searching given that I seem to have a bit of time on my hands since school is out for the summer. My soul searching has led me to the following conlusion.

  •  The presence of people around me is vital to maintaining my bolts and nuts in balance therefore ensuring a level of sanity.
  • I will never retire on a farm out in the bondoos. That I just do not get. Even if, I was given sijui which farm worth x million monies.. thank you very much, I will retire in a flat, in the middle of the city.. where I can watch people go by and be dubbed the nosy old woman!
  • My sense of worth is closely tied to my work. Without work, I have no sense of worth. I am trying my hardest to do all those things the self help books and bible teach, but right now it is not working well and I am begining to think it is all hogwash anyway.
  • The grass is always greener on the other side, but when you are on the less green side, it very very hard to count your blessings and realise that the other side has issues.
  • and finally as Lucky Dube said “No man can hide from his fears/since they are a part of him,/ they always know where to find him/ so walk tall/ keep your head high/ put a smile on your face/don,t let your troubles get you / I FEEL AIRE!!!! X2

All in all, on a scale of 100%, Denmark scores 38.45%. I have 3 more months to go.. and then we will see. And just for the record, as of today 13.07.06, Denmark is an okayish place… kinda…..

To Be or Not to Be GAY

I want to say something about being gay and I cannot seem to get my words out right.

I was watching Oprah today and the topic of disccusion was “when did I know I was gay”.  On it the panel of men told thier stories of how they knew they were gay and when. The show later concluded with a mother who had  found out her daughter was gay when she was 17 (the daughter) …..however when the daughter was 10 years old she had said to her mother that she thought she was gay because she liked girls. It was heartbreaking to hear both sides of the stories. The mother’s loss of dream and the daughter’s difficulty of dealing with her mother’s reaction.

This is my stand on the whole Homosexuality thing.

I used to believe that it was a SIN and that all gay people would go to hell. That is what my bible taught me and what I was brought up to believe. To be honest, I think I only became aware of this stuff when I was in high school around form 3 or form 4. It was not something that was talked about at home ever! Except when dad said….as an explanation to why a certain man’s son was gay

Dad: “that is the problem with sending your children to Europe for education when they are in thier teens, they learn all these bad manners, if he had left them here, they would not have developed those useless manners and would be more stable…”

However after much discussion with straight friends and watching lots of TV documentaries, talk shows and reading articles here and there, I am now of the belief that many Gay men are born that way. I also believe some hetrosexual men VOLUNTARILY choose this life style. .

My heart goes out to all the gay men who have tried for years and years to hide this aspect of themselves and fought the inner battles. Anyone who has fought an inner battle or struggle should have no problem understanding the dilemma most gay youth grow up with.

On the same hand, a part of me cannot help but shudder in fear at the idea that if my (yet to be born) son or daughter was to come home and say “Mum, I am gay”… where the heck would I even start. That is why I understand how hard it is for parents to deal with the “coming out” of their children…..

Am I making sense….. I just wanted to say.. that

Yes I know my stand on this conflicts with my christian beliefs, …but this is what I say.. How can God let a child be born gay and during thier development process they have feeling for men and not women, why does he let this happen and then condem them to death… is this God working mysteriously…..where is the justice in that……

 I am rambling….