A few things about me

Shattered Illusions

I hate being disillusioned. Presently I feel like the last 8 months have been one dislluisionment after another and I am about tired of them.

Disclaimer: This post will not degenerate into a self pity party.. I am done with that.

Back on topic:

Remember my Beauty Shop blog…well ukewli umefanuliwa (the truth is out) and I am still not sure how to feel about the whole scenario.

The place is owned by a fellow country woman and I have been spending a good amount of time there..at least once a week you will find me there.. laughing, plaiting hair, listening to outrageous stories… but there is something about the dark and rain that seems to bring out one’s true self.. or at least a morsel of that true self.

So there we were last friday.. doing braids that went all the way to the butt, when it dawned on me that members of the beauty shop were “soiled doves” or should I say, women of dodgy pasts and presents.. women whom I had never had the occasion to truly interact with back home. Yes, I had met such women. Go to certain salons to have your hair braided.. and you get to hear things and learn things that let you know that these women are “women of the night”.

The topic at hand that shattered my illusions was “I am a gold digger”. However these “soiled doves” met thier “first men” who brought them here to Denmark is highly suspect!! Very highly suspect. One of the ladies has 4 biracial children all from different white men. Mr. Current is number 4 who has lasted 17 years…(and to think that I drew comfort from the longevity of her marriage). We were there when her latest Congolese catch, stopped by to chat, play us some lingala on his very hot phone (which looked like a small computer) and later drive her home to her husband in his “American car”. . I was left wondering how the hell she was going to explain to her man, who this man was dropping her at 12.00am. Earlier I had heard her introduce him to her son (who had dropped by) as her brother-in-law eh, ?&#!

I was given advice on how to “dig” and I would be fool not to “dig” and that love is nothing.. what happens when love is finished.. “diggiging” was the best plan because when the love died.. at least I would have “dug” kidogo. To a certain extent, the part of me that is product of a broken marriage, entirely agrees with this sentiment. Build your nest while the going is good cause you never know. . Ever since I stopped working, I have become a FIRM BELIEVER in ALIMONY believe you me…… I will take half of everything you got and more if I can.. thank you very much!!!! Ivana Trump was on the money!!

The snob in me says I should not hang out with them, we have nothing in common with except for the fact we are from Africa. Their lives and values are on polar opposites to mine. Yet I cannot begrudge them because it is there that I have also met a decent woman “like me” with whom I hope to develop a friendship. When I am there, I do have fun , I laugh, I learn where to buy things and more or less get to know all the other black women around and it breaks the silence of Denmark and reminds me it isn’t all soo bad.

So if you ever stop by our beauty shop and happen to hear things that let you know that the ladies are “soiled doves” don’t be to quick to judge, soiled or not… ..

Comments on: "Shattered Illusions" (4)

  1. It is good to hear that you are at least making some money and have a job.
    For a long time in Kenya women who worked in salons had dodgy reps but when hairdressing school opened that changed.
    Me and my boys dont call them soiled doves, we call them left overs.Even though it is not always their fault.
    But the main thing that made these women hook up with those Danish men is money, whether we like it or not!I wouldnt be surprised if it is child support that drives some of these women to have kids.
    You cant tell me the mama who is carrying on with the Congolese chap loves her husband.Since you are a firm believer in alimony let me ask you, would you be willing to pay it out to your husband if you were the one who was making the big bucks?I didnt think so.But that is why pre-nups were made and also advanced ways of hiding your money, to deal with such women.
    But I do agree that there is alot you can learn about life from those women so spend some time with them.

  2. I try not to judge the woman that does my hair actually I love her to bits but there are instances in her company that have left my ears stinging from what they talk about with their mates especially when they think you are not listening. They are an invaluable source of information on human behavior, usually knowing who is cheating on who etc some rumors, others with a huge pinch of salt but truth nonethless

    I shall blame it on being engrossed in an activity that leaves your mouth and most of your brain idle and we all know what the devil does with that.

    @aco Men are infamous the world over for leaving their offspring untended for; now whether the woman should support the man or not is not an issue, if you are leaving our children with me to go and hanyahanya I will clean you out by the time am done.

  3. Acolyte, I hear what you are saying, lakini on the issue of alimony, before I became unemployed (i.e. Before Denmark), I did not support the whole alimony business, a part of me still felt that if the man offered it, one should nto refuse… lakini, since I became unemployed (After Denmark) I completely believe in alimony. I strongly feel that if a woman is with a jamaa and for whatever reason is not working but keeping the home.. then hell yes the man has to pay… and once children are in the picture.. there is no debate, working or not working, alimony is a must. If the tables were turned and woman was the sole bread winner and jamaa asked for alimony.. then yes… for … as they say …..”he was used to a certain standard of lifestyle”.

  4. […] The whole african prostitute in Europe fascinates and intrigues me. I shared my experience of it here. As the years went by and I moved from that town to another, I have not interacted with theladies. […]

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