A few things about me

Archive for January, 2007

Men’s pregnancy signs

A silly thought entered my mind and I entertained it and ended up cracking myself up. Here’s what I was thinking

“Men should have been made in such a way they can share the pregnancy experience….God should have made it so that thier balls grow big as the pregnancy develops. You know just like a woman’s breasts. All the itching, tenderness, expansion and senstivity..that way every time a guy makes a woman pregnant, he cannot deny the child because his balls are growing and developing and in that way too, they will be more into using protection” 😀

That was too funny.. I could just picture it and was like ewe! lol!…just a thought

Leave her alone

I don’t know if some of you have heard all the drama about Tyra Banks putting on weight. The saga has been in the tabloids and “E-TV”, my source of all hollywood gossip. Now here is the thing. I am 5ft10″ just like Tyra. I don’t have the same frame that she does. She has a smaller frame but bigger galz (don’t evny her one bit on that issue!!) . Apparently she has gained 30-40pounds i.e 13.6-18.14Kgs and now stands at a “staggering” 160 pounds approx 73Kgs …(ehm..Mrembo’s goal weight). So there I am watching this whole thing on “E-News” doing the calculations, (cause I understand Kgs better than pounds lbs) and thinking to myself

“there are some hungry people in show biz”

So I continue doing the math and figure out that she weighed around 60-65kgs. I once got down to 68 Kgs and I did not like the way I looked. (believe me I was not dieting. I was in a country where I hated the food, had no money and lived on bread and tea with cold milk for two weeks). And “they” have the nerve to wonder why young girls are all messed up. Leave Tyra alone. She better than anyone else knows all about weight and image etc etc. She has earned the right to eat a frigging hot dog… or two… ama 3!!!!

Talking of weight. I am still holding my weight gain at 11.7 kgs. Please God Please, help me not get beyond 13kgs. I have upped my activity kidogo and trying to eat less……don’t tell me nothing, the baby won’t starve, I have more than enough fat reserves to feed the little one! And yes I am bonafide certified over obssessed with my weight! there I said it, you don’t have to tell me!

My Take on Pregnancy!

Whenever I hear “I was full of energy!” “It was just a breeze for me” from previously pregnant women I just want to kick them or something.

Being pregnant has been a rollercoaster and a half and most times it has just been a pain in the behind. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful that there hasn’t been any complications or the like, however……ugh!

The absolute worst part is the TOTAL LOSS OF CONTROL OVER YOUR OWN BODY. It literally feels like there is an alien in you. Like in the movie “Aliens” something growing in you that should not be there. I hate the weight gain. I am obsessed with my body, which is the only thing I feel that I am able to control (within limits ofcourse). I can’t run, can’t work out, can’t lie on my tummy (best sleeping position) can’t bend, cant’t do this or the other! I have not liked being pregnant and I cannot wait for the baby to come forth!

That’s my take and I ain’t changing it!

And how could I forget the ACNE!!! that alone is enough to put me off having a second baby! The face is kabisa messed up. I look like a “spotted dick” (that is the genuine name of British pudding). Ok let me be honest, the acne is gone, but I am now left with the ravages of the hyperpigmentation i.e. the black spots left after picking at the acne. I look BAD and I am not even joking. I have searched the net for all sorts of safe, peeling, bleaching etc stuff and cannot find anything “safe”. My last alternative is to visit a dermatologist and have a surface peel done. BUT and it is a big but (as you can see) I am not too sure I trust the muzungu doctor to handle my skin. White people do not exactly suffer from hyperpigmentation. What if he burns me with the acid. Lord I am desparate!

Pregnancy sucks!