Leo ni siku la 20 ambampo mimi ni mama wa mtu. Swali la muhimu ni hii? Je..sijambo? Jibu- “mwanangu sijui”
Hii kazi ya umama ni kazi ngumu ambayo haina asante wala maelezo. Mtoto huyu ameniletea machozi mengi, wasiwasi na ameiba usingizi wangu. Tangu aje nyumbani sijala masaa manne wala sita mfululizo. Usiku yeye huamuka kila baada ya masaa mawili au moja na nusu. Wenzangu, nimechoka nimechoka. Kama kingewezekana, nigemurudisha hosipitalini, niwambiye, “nita rudi baada ya myezi misita”.
Eleweni kwamba mtoto nampenda, lakini nina hitaji usaidizi wa mfanyakazi. Wakina mama wa Afrika wana bahati sana. Mtoto ukimuzaa, unausaidizi wa watu. Mfanyakazi, au mama, au relatives (nimesahau). Hapa niko pekeyangu na nifanya kila kitu. Big Al ananisaidia, lakini hawezi kunyonesha mtoto na yeye siyo mwanamke.
Nimechoka. Nataka mfanyakazi. Nikimaliza kunyonyesha mtoto, mfanyakazi amechukuwe, ambembeleze na amlalishe.
Kazi ya umama!!
Thats my rant in kiswahili. In a nutshell, I am tired tired tired! I need a maid and sleep.
Bloody hell Mrembo, it is only 20 days and you already bitching!
It all started on 27th February 2007 at 7.30am and ended on 1st March 2007 at 03:10am. Little Nikholai was born to us.
Let it be known that unless you have experienced it, all the “it’s painful, labour is hard work”, etc cannot be fully appreciated until you experience it. Strangely enough when the midwife lay him on my belly immediately after birth I thought “OK.. so this is what giving birth is about, I can do it again”. During the whole process what kept me going was the thought that I was no where near the first nor last woman to give birth, so I had to get on with it.
All my intentions of doing it naturally when out the window when on 28th Feb at around 6.00pm or 7.00p the attending midwife insisted that I get the epidural because I was still a long way from the end. I finally agreed and praise be to God for about 4 hours it was all ok till the last 2 to 3 hours when it all became “au naturel”
Here are pics of my little boy.
So how goes it….. well, I am totally sleep deprived and tired. He is a little angel by day and little bandit by night. He keeps me up from 3.00am to 6.30am. I try to get sleep when he does especially in the morning. I get 2 hours in the morning and another 2 hours in the evening.
I have shed so many tears since he was born. Mostly tears of worry and being overwhelmed. I have no idea what I am doing. It took about 3 days for milk production to begin and the nurses were reluctant to have him take the bottle, so crying was in order for me :-). I have been talking to my mum every 2 or so days. Its strange how just hearing her say “he is fine and he will grow well do not worry” is so reassuring.
All in all we are doing well. I expect it will get better and I will grow in confidence that I am doing the right thing.