A few things about me

Archive for June, 2007

DIY Maps & Mango trees

I absolutely hate is DIY. The first time I heard that term I was in Uganda and did not really pay attention. I remember laughing at some joke about DIY and explaining to someone that DIY meant “Do it yourself”

Then I moved to England and for a year managed to avoid it. Then came my own flat and the need for an affordable bed, which was later delievered in a box and I was like “So you will put it together” and the guy looked at me like I had sprouted horns and left. There I was without a toolbox or screw to my name, an unassembled bed in a box (who even knew ati beds can come in a box). And thus begun my relationship with DIY.

I have promised Big Al countless times that when I finally find that jackpot of money at the end of the rainbow, I will never again buy anything that needs to be assembled. Everything will come into my house fully assembled… thank you very much. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. It should be outlawed! Every time we have to get something and I find out it comes in pieces in several boxes, I try to find an alternative!

Then there are maps! Lord have mercy! Again my first real experience of maps was in the UK, first term at Uni, orientation week. Me and Mo had hooked up. We lived in the same hall of residence and had agreed to orient ourselves round the campus prior to Monday when we both had lectures. Map in hand we set out. I was incharge of the map. So we get to the main entrance and I start trying to pinpoint where we were on the map. Finally I exclaimed in frustration that the map was wrong. Mo leans over me scans the map then grabs at it laughing hard saying ” the map is the other way round, stupid!” It became a standing joke. That year Mo warned everyone about following my directions.

Big Al and I have a standing agreement. He reads the maps, while I sit/stand by quietly while he reads it. Thing is, I have a very good instinctual sense of direction. Its a feeling of “this is the right way or this is the wrong way” and 9 out of 10 times if I have been to a place once, I can find it in my sleep! (ok so maybe I exagurate a bit, but you get the point). Thing is in UG we have mango trees. Everyone always lives near a mango tree and most directions are given as follows.

A: You know that white house on Xyz road”

B: Yes

A: After that house, then you will see a transforma near a house with green roof tiles”

B: ok

A: After that drive for like 1 min then you will see a BIG MANGO TREE…after that mango tree, turn right and the third blue gate is where I live”

There is always a mango tree, a roundabout and a transforma…always and if all fails there is always a guy at the market place ……..


Lack of it will lead to

  • Extreme bitchiness
  • Significant memory loss
  • Impaired libido 🙂
  • Irrationality
  • Diminished thought processing
  • Forgetfulness
  • Obsession with sleep
  • Increased impatience

We have been sleeping for only 2hours at a time, hence the above. And below is the bandit responsible.

my bandit

Finally figured out how to suck his thumb

clever me

More Money!

I want money, I want lots of it! So much that I could literally sit on it! 🙂 that’s how much of it that I want and anything less than that will never be enough!

That being said, I will also be the first to acknowledge that I have a very unhealthy relationship with money. First thing is that I want it. When I get it, I want to hoard it so that now and again I can open my books and salivate about how much money I have… bad bad bad! I know.

The reason I want it is so simple. Money = Security. Kapish?!.

Eons ago I used to think that a house meant security. Owning my own house was my security. By owning I mean owning it outright, no mortgage or what have you. My dream was to be accquired the Ugandan way. First work, then buy the plot, then start building. It may take 5 years to complete the house but that’s ok because every brick would be owned by me and no bank. Life happened and I let that dream go. Owning a house is no longer mission number one in my life. I would still like to own one, but that fire no longer burns nor are the coals amber. Its more like hot ash situation.

All I want now is money, more money, lots of money. I want to work for it, but I do not mind winning the lottery. Not sure I want to be given it. I want it no strings attached.

Helloooo June!

Unbelievable that June is here and Nik is now 3 months old ..hurray!! 🙂 Feels like a lifetime and though I seem to have done nothing but complained, I would not return him to the hospital…(as I once threatened Big Al in the middle of the night when Nik was still freshly new!)This motherhood thing grows on you. Yesterday I managed to get an afternoon nap, what a difference a nap makes.. Anyway, I am enoying the little man as he grows and he has started laughing which is so beautiful to hear!

Enough about babies and motherhood

I have been wanting to blog about a certain topic but words fail me. I have done two drafts and deleted them because they sounded like gibberish, yet I would really like to hear what people think and the African perspective of it. Guess I will have to wait until my muse gets herself in order and generates a sensible post.

Other than that, I am busy doing the usual and oh almost forgot, I joined a “new mothers group”. This is how it works. The community nurse basically hooks up the mums who have babies around the same age. Then once a week we meet at each others house for tea and conversation. It has saved my sanity.

I told you I live in/close to the Ghetto or otherwise known as the poorest side of town. The nurses realised that I was not Somali and said they would not hook me up with them reason being they speka no english , so they hooked me up with Danish women. Majority black and minority people here are Somalis then Turks. (Turks are the largest minority group in Denmark )

Anyway, this thursday is my turn to host and I have been a nervous wreck. Why? Very simply put, I want to impress the ladies. Why? Because

1. The reputation of black people in Denmark is horrible horrible and I feel like since I am the only black person they know and probably will ever visit, I have to REPRESENT! Show that minorities may have a bad reputation but we are clean, decent folks etc etc. It is stupid to feel like this, but I do!

2. I have been to all the houses and for the first time I am intimidated to show my house. Danes live very very well. Its as if there is a national decoration style and everyone subscribes to it. Minimalist. Its lovely and I love it. However my house takes minimalism to another level better know as “lack of furniture pretending to be minimalist”. The strangest thing is that I have no problem having my other friends or Big Al’s relatives visit me but with the mother’s group..aieh…

I will report back on Friday or thereabouts about how I THINK it went.

Happy June everyone~!, its the middle of the year!