A few things about me

DIY Maps & Mango trees

I absolutely hate is DIY. The first time I heard that term I was in Uganda and did not really pay attention. I remember laughing at some joke about DIY and explaining to someone that DIY meant “Do it yourself”

Then I moved to England and for a year managed to avoid it. Then came my own flat and the need for an affordable bed, which was later delievered in a box and I was like “So you will put it together” and the guy looked at me like I had sprouted horns and left. There I was without a toolbox or screw to my name, an unassembled bed in a box (who even knew ati beds can come in a box). And thus begun my relationship with DIY.

I have promised Big Al countless times that when I finally find that jackpot of money at the end of the rainbow, I will never again buy anything that needs to be assembled. Everything will come into my house fully assembled… thank you very much. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. It should be outlawed! Every time we have to get something and I find out it comes in pieces in several boxes, I try to find an alternative!

Then there are maps! Lord have mercy! Again my first real experience of maps was in the UK, first term at Uni, orientation week. Me and Mo had hooked up. We lived in the same hall of residence and had agreed to orient ourselves round the campus prior to Monday when we both had lectures. Map in hand we set out. I was incharge of the map. So we get to the main entrance and I start trying to pinpoint where we were on the map. Finally I exclaimed in frustration that the map was wrong. Mo leans over me scans the map then grabs at it laughing hard saying ” the map is the other way round, stupid!” It became a standing joke. That year Mo warned everyone about following my directions.

Big Al and I have a standing agreement. He reads the maps, while I sit/stand by quietly while he reads it. Thing is, I have a very good instinctual sense of direction. Its a feeling of “this is the right way or this is the wrong way” and 9 out of 10 times if I have been to a place once, I can find it in my sleep! (ok so maybe I exagurate a bit, but you get the point). Thing is in UG we have mango trees. Everyone always lives near a mango tree and most directions are given as follows.

A: You know that white house on Xyz road”

B: Yes

A: After that house, then you will see a transforma near a house with green roof tiles”

B: ok

A: After that drive for like 1 min then you will see a BIG MANGO TREE…after that mango tree, turn right and the third blue gate is where I live”

There is always a mango tree, a roundabout and a transforma…always and if all fails there is always a guy at the market place ……..


Comments on: "DIY Maps & Mango trees" (3)

  1. Funny. I remember another guy was giving me directions to his house. Let me quote, “……continue walking down that path then turn on your left where you’ll find a goat grazing, then walk 100 metres and turn right…..” You’d think the goat had like a dining yard. Needless to say, there was no goat and only safcom saved us.

  2. Princess said:

    Too funny!!! In High School we were taught to read maps in Geography and before Google Maps and Mapquest, my friends and I used to rely on maps to find our way to places we had never been to before.

    However, some people still like to be informed of landmarks even when they are using google maps or Mapquest. Some of my friends like to know if they will see a gas station or whatever so they know they are on the right track.

  3. Maps? What are maps for when you can close your eyes and imagine how to get there? :-).

    OK, Seriously, I may not always be able to get there in the first instance, but, drag me to the middle of nowhere through I don’t know which convoluted route, dump me there and I’ll be able to use my instincts to get back to the starting point.

    I have done this in the strangest of cities with the utmost ease. (she boasts.)

    And and and, I have witnesses. Witnesses who started out as serious doubters. Male of the species too, who had serious money invested in my getting it wrong.

    I keep trying to convince my friends that that should be a competitive sport at the olympics. I suppose they’ll tell me what they think when they stop laughing.

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