A few things about me

Truth in all things?!

She is making me think about how open I am willing to be on my blog. I found her blog sometime back and have been hooked since then. She confirmed that she is not making it all up and it is about her life. I found myself thinking about her at odd times and the theme of my thoughts was towards the OPENESS of my own writing. I have been trying to wrap my head around that thought, being more open ; honesty is not real the issue here; everything I write is honest however it is not usually about the stuff that is in my heart.

I write about things I have no issue sharing with a person whom I have just met the “light things”. Apart from my Fresh Air post: You have no idea how many times I considered taking it down. I felt exposed and vulnerable, stupid too for having put it up. Then I went in to see how many people had read it and it was like 87, so it was too late to take it down.

I have been thinking a lot this morning about it and realise that I cannot be more open than I am because it could hurt people, it would give people the wrong impression of things. You read one post and an image of me or somelese in your mind is based on that one post. Yet yet, when I read Mona’s blog, its not her downs that draw me or her highs, it her humanity, her human-ness the totality of who she is and that to me is powerful.

I’m thinking people, I am still thinking and perhaps the open-ness will come in time, perhaps it won’t. Maybe it will stay confined to my “real life journals”(which I intend to burn soon because I seem to write in them only when I am on a down in my life and that much negativity is not healthy… good thing though is that I get it out of my system).

That’s as open as I can be! 🙂

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Comments on: "Truth in all things?!" (3)

  1. Hi Mrembo,

    I was initially perturbed by Mona’s openness too and then I read through my blog. I found that in the last one year I have been bolder in writing about myself and things that happens around me. I am a public figure and sometimes I worry that I may hurt people close to me when I write sensitive matters- eg I have written about a gay family member recently.

    I also find that sharing my experiences have a sort of healing to me.. call it cathartic.. but I also get invaluable advise from people I almost consider friends. You see, i visit your blog daily even when you have not updated and am content to read old posts.

    If the openness does not come, it is still ok. Your readers(and trolls) will still visit you spot

    I can be stupid, so you should know that I have pounced on that “I am a public figure” the plot thickens or rather thins… 🙂

    The healing part I understand, for me it comes from my journals because all my toxic stuff gets out.. I started this blog as a joke, and did not think I would be here this long.. … then I “met” people and I got stuck!

    The friends thing, oh I so totally understand, mpaka Big Al is also getting to “know” you guys by proxy.. the other day I was shocked when telling him about a certain blogger and he was like “yeah the one you raved about back when you discovered”…

  2. i am a lurker around here, count some of the hits as mine. i have been following your blog for quite a while now and Mona’s since early November, and i think its good to be open, though i cannot share to that level that you two have since my shield of anonymity was lifted and i have met many fine ladies and gentlemen on the blogosphere and a few who were not so nice but all in all blogging for me is therapy, somehing i do to vent, express myself, be vain, needy and all that without judgement. at times i come across posts i do not see that i would add value by commenting so i lurk in the shadows. Its encouraging to see that people have gone through what i have gone through and with that i find the strength to forge on resolutely since i know that the scars may be there but i think without them i would be a totally different person, it is as it is and there is comfort in sharing right? Mona hope you are reading this too! :o)

    That is why I have kinda hesitated to put my photos up. The one that I have up does not bother me cause I don’t think one would recognize me in real life based on that photo. I tend to look very different depending on the hair I have.

    Your reasons for blogging are more or less the same reason I blog. I especially like the “be vain, needy and all without judgement”
    Again you’re on point about recognizing that it’s not only me going through that. Through blogs I have learned that a lot of what I will be feeling, in relation to the negative, down emotions, is part of being human. A human condition. Like you, blogsphere will many atimes gives me strength to pull through and move on. Good example with me is self pity. I was the QUEEN of it, even when Big Al called me on it, I still was “woe betide me”…. then I started reading and learning and I think I can say with honesty; I stopped lying in that bed and now I am very good at nipping it in the bud!!!

  3. hi!
    Mrembo, im glad my honesty touched you at some level, but you just post what you are comfortable with. we are all different.for me, i had to be honest because in my real life i would never share to that extent and most of the times i keep things in and just go crazy.The fact that no one knows me on blogosphere helps me be honest.because then i can feel someone out there knows me for me and not for the person i am in daily life. it si cathrtic to be open i have found and i am actually feeling better since i started blogging and feeling my mind get stirred and want to change my life for the better.All by just writing.

    I understand my honesty has perturbed quite a few folk and made some uncomfy, but i feel that not saying it, does not change the existence of what i go through.I just got tired of pretending or hiding and for once i wanted to say all i think nakedly and damn the consequences.

    To be honest the fact that some people have actually acknowledged to me their own struggles with depression and low selfesteem and are confronting their own pain as a result of what i write has greatly humbled me because when i started writing this blog i didnt even think anyone would bother to read it.

    you see, i write about my journey through life, some times it will be ugly, othertimes beautiful, other times i will triumph and other times i will fail. I am not pressured to be perfect so that people like me better, instead i am living my life learning , falling and getting up as i go along and hopefully someday i will be totally whole and free.

    I am touched by your blog and comments!

    I felt like saying Hallelujah! and so I said it. That is what blogging/ writing is all about and it is good to hear that for many of us it brings some form of healing or outlet of emotions. There is nothing like putting thought and feeling to paper. i find it tends to crystalise the emotion and thought and allow me to look at it objectively. When I force myself to write WHY am I feeling like this. WHAT can i do about it. Or even just plain venting, things become clearer as opposed to have it bouncing around in my head.

    Keep doing your thing and I will do mine, everybody theirs and we will all be fine. A toast to you, me and everyone out there, here is to life!!!!

    …..cling cling cling!!! (went the toast!)

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