To buy or not to buy? That’s the question that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks. I finally got my answer from Suze Orman. I have said it many times; I am obsessed with money. That’s a slight untruth. The truth is that I am scared, AFRAID of poverty. I am so afraid of being unable to afford mine and my family’s NEEDS. I make no apologies for being afraid of being poor, living hand to mouth and being obsessed with financial security. I have seen real life examples of people who HAD money living in plush Nairobi or Kampala surburbs end up living in the village or with thier grown kids. I have seen and know kids who went to British system schools, used to having drivers, etc etc start having to live hand to mouth, become alcoholics, lost….I have seen it and that is why I am obsessed with securing some level of financial security and freedom for me and mine.
That said, I was obsessing about buying gifts for my immediate family. It was driving me crazy cause I was trying to figure out where to get the money from, what to cut back, skimp here, pinch there and it was just not coming together, hence Mrembo fretting and going nuts. Then Suze spoke the truth on Oprah and said some things that made me realise that I AM NOT OBLIGATED to buy the gifts. It would be wonderful if I could afford them, but right now I cannot. If people are disappointed I brought nothing but chocolates and biscuits, tough! I feel so much better having made that decision!
(now I can buy that dress that I wanted ) ok…. so that was not a funny joke! I will admit I feel silly/ ashamed not taking anything but I will get over that.
I feel soo much better having decided that.. i really do… so now I can focus on other things like clean the house, peel the potatoes for supper, then off to town with baby to check on the portable high chair for baby, call KLM find out if it is ok to carry baby food, and how many kilos is baby allowed to travel with… and stop thinking about money, the month has just begun and the bank balance looks really scary already…
Note to self….. I will not freak out, I will not freak out, everything is under control.
Confession: when I start thinking about money and my getting employed and pension plans and us ever being in a position to buy a house and having another baby, and me buying the clothes I really want, and being able to buy Big Al the things he likes and affording day care and……. I begin to hyper ventilate and my vision goes dim… and I can’t swallow or think properly.
Confession number 2: Big Al and I do discuss financial stuff and we are on the same page and we do put aside something every month and we have no debt apart from the car…..and we budget every month and pay all the bills on time and………….. so why do I freak out……..because because…. non of your business 🙂