A few things about me

I know I promised but I cannot be quiet.

I am hurt and hurting by the falling apart of Kenya. I have been talking and reasoning with myself, trying to grapple with the matter in the end I have come to the following conclusion.

I am hurt because the place I call home, the place I have been proud of, the people of whom I once said “Kenyans can’t have war, they have seen it around them and they have too much to loose” is falling apart. The beast of carnation and death has been unleashed and now cannot be reigned in. His rule of terror and bloodshed will last a while longer but eventually will end. Its the “while longer” that troubles me.

I spoke to mum today and asked her if she planned on relocating to our shags if the area where she lives gets dangerous. She was hesitant and said.. “Shags is safe, lakini, if things get bad here, I cannot leave the house unmanned. If it is empty they would destroy it”. I understand where she is coming from but at the same time I want her safe.

The threat of war does not really trouble me. Wars come and go, it is part of life. My surviving relatives in Uganda are testament to the fact that war has its survivors and that not everyone has the opportunity to be a refugee some place some where. The death of many innocents does not trouble me as much, again, it is part of life and if I was to start moralising about the evils and unfairness of life, I would be here a long time. What seems to be bothering me is the WHY of it all. WHY are so many people willing to have bloodstained hands. WHY are people willing to LIVE the rest of their lives with that stain. WHY and HOW does this SHETANI of war and murder get into EVERYDAY people’s minds and convince people it’s ok to go and kill so and so because he is luo, kikuyu, kisii, kalenji….etc etc.

Ethnic pride.. I understand, what I do not understand is when we cross a barrier into “we are better than them, they should die”. We have seen it in Rwanda, the pot is currently cooking in Uganda, I see it here in Europe in the guise of Extreme Right wing parties.

Perhaps it is human nature, the balance of things, that humans kill themselves in the name of whatever “ism” catches their fancy.

It is the rule of leaders and the law the supposedly keep things in check. Keep the beast leashed, until a time when he is ready to be unleashed to wreak his havoc.

Just a while longer and Kenya shall be ok… the question here now is HOW LONG.

Do I believe that there will be healing between the waring tribes. Not in my lifetime. I don’t see how. I don’t think it is a class, money or disparity thing anymore. I think our turn as a Nation has come and we have to ride this one out.

To the ODM leadership: I watched Odinga’s speech today on BBC. Mr. Odinga, your speech was okayish at best. My one criticsm is this. Why can you and your party not wait for things to settle. What do you loose in waiting two three months for tempers and hearts to cool. Why do you use such inciting words like “stolen” “rightful” murdered?
To PNU leadership: President Kibaki: If ODM has said they want peaceful demonstrations, let them do it. Let them have their rallies: And while you are at it. Why have you not called for a curfew in the whole of Kenya. People should be home by 7.00pm. Why have you not deployed your army to the areas with madness. Mzee, Kazi imkushinda?

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