Like most people I am aware that I am scrutinised when I am met for the first time. One such occassion stands out due to a number of reasons; today I had my second “stand out” scrutiny episode.
During break time at school.. I was chatting with a classmate from another english speaking country when comes along this very lovely looking lady. My classmate introduced us and we got chatting.
Miss Thang then begun dropping “but do I say-isms”.
“Oh, I have just come back from hoilday and will be going on holiday… I work so hard” …. “I am soo busy with school.. I am doing my masters and then I am xyz at my school… ” …….. “I just love flowers so much… I am getting married this summer.. but I am going on holiday next week”….”Yeah this is my natural hair.. I just had it done in London….”…. “yeah I live between here and London”….yada yada yada.
As she spoke I was being visually scrutinsed and found lacking. Thing was I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. All this time I was wondering what I was supposed to do with her “say-isms”. Remember I mentioned the first time it happened to me.. .. I’ll get to that later. Today I was pleased with myself. A few years ago I would have shriveled internally at the presence of a Miss Thang, but today I was like. “I like myself. I have reached a stage in my life where I actually like whole self… Natural hair, face (I do have my Mrembo moments), funny teeth, interesting tatas, my little pot (that has been the bane of my slimming endevours), jiggly thighs(which I have come to love including every valley and dimple), fabulous legs (they are by the way 🙂 and beautiful feet…!
I love myself and so when Miss Thang was doing her thing which was designed to blow me away, I was alright with it. She was doing her thing and I am doing mine. I was a little amused at the attempt but was glad to find out Mrembo has grown.
A long time ago while still at Uni I was introduced to anotherr Miss Thang. She was the sister of my friend and she was all that. Miss Thang was a tad legendary in our social circles. She was/is beautiful, high achieving, very well dressed, desired,drove the right car, had the right boyfriend etc etc and there I was just looking lost. I remember when my friend introduced me. Miss Thang looked me up down TWICE and slowly. I was found seriously lacking and dismissed with a quickness. To this day I have a very low opinion of Miss Thang. She no longer is so Miss Thangy to me. That few minutes in her presence really shook my self esteem. I already knew that I was not fly let alone superfly so it hurt. I have been told that is her manner and she is actually a very nice person nonetheless my first impression of her remains. I don’t even think she remembers me.I don’t care. I was the scary looking chick who hang out with her superfly little sis….(little sis and I no longer speak… she dumped me for superfly friends(or so I think.. I was never told.. I was just given a cold shoulder and had to get the message. yes it hurt because I loved her….. she was the first really girly girly girlfriend I had.. took me time to get over it… ).
So that was my little story of today.