A few things about me

Archive for July, 2008

Baby update

Noooo! I am not having another. Woi.. if I was.. I would be dying right now. I would be dead… cannot even begin to contemplate that. Measures and precautions have been instituted.. and yes I know nothing is 100% effective bar abstinence !

Drum roll…… wait for it…… wait for it… finally finally.. I stopped breastfeeding. Hooray. I managed it for 15 months and I stopped when he was 16months. Would not have succeeded without mum. She kept me in-check every time my resolve would break. Believe you me, watching your child crying for boobies is no easy thing.

As a result.. WE ARE SLEEPING MUCH MUCH BETTER! (so yes there is a link between breastfeeding and sleep in babies)

Yes Seasons you were right! A long time ago you once said to me.. he will sleep. It just took 16 months. We are sleeping much better and most importantly he is doing most of his sleeping in his crib. So hooray for me and Baby Nikh. He ain’t so baby no more.

I promised myself that there would be no more pics of me and mine here so sorry.

I am still very undecided about weather I WANT ANOTHER  and WHEN TO HAVE ANOTHER (assuming all the tubes and pipes will be in working order)… so since I do not know.. I remain in the I-do-not-know state. Meanwhile Baba Nikh is very keen on number two. Let me tell you…Baba Nikh has always been keen on babies.  He was way ready for baby number one before I was. If he could have had his way, our first born would be about 3 years old. I always tell him, our relationship would not have survived it. He says it would have.. what do men know eh??? 🙂

Mum-in-law, Baby Nikh & Mrembo (May ’08)Mum-in-Law, Baby Nikh and Mrembo


Mama blues

I miss her. My mummy. She was here for 3 months and I got used to having her around. We all miss her.

I am very grateful for the time we spent together. It is the first time in many many years that I got to be with my mother. Yes I have been to Nairobi many times in the past 8 years, but we never really spent time. We never really talked. The image/impressions of my mother that I had in my head were images from when I was around 10-12years. After that, I hardly spent time with her (my folks are divorced and I lived with my father from when I was about 13years old)

The first month she was here, I was having a very hard time reconciling the woman that I was thought was my mother then and the woman she is now.  Before she left I confessed this very fact to her.

I asked all the questions I had promised myself to ask. What are your hobbies. What makes you happy. Do you have friends, what did you want to be when you were my age. What were your dreams then, what are your dreams now? Do you regret the divorce, would you like to remarry. Why did you used to do this and that? I wanted to know my mother and I think I can honestly say that I now know her.  We talked. I explained some things. She listened. For the first time in many years I feel she really listened to me.

I got married without her knowledge (for various reasons) over 6 years ago and only told her last year. She told me, my reason for withholding this info broke her heart. I heard her, she understood me. She is glad that I am “legal”. She loves my family. She met my in-laws and was satisfied. It was a mutual admiration-fest when the in-laws met her. I was glad. Most importantly she was glad.
Before she left she did one her speech things. She likes speeches.  Among other things she said to me.

If God calls me home now before I see you again, I am ok with going. I have now seen where you are, I have seen your family and in-laws. I see they love you, I see you are happy. So I go home now contented and peaceful.”

I had a mango the size of a mountain in my throat.. my defences collapsed when she said

For the first time in my life in a long long time I have felt taken care of. I have felt welcomed and at home here. I have truly had a holiday, when I have relaxed and been taken care of. Thank for that mummy”

Still brings tears to my eyes. For a long time I had thought she did not love me. I knew on a intellectual level that she loved me.. but I did not think she liked me and my heart did not truly believe that she loved me.  As a young girl and later a young woman, my mother was very busy with her career and taking care of everyone else’s problems. I always felt I came 6th or 7th in her list of priorities. Hence I learned to speak only of the good and solve my issues on my own or through books. (this is not a self pity party.. just stating things as they were)

After her visit, I now believe in my heart, head and soul that she loves me.  I in turn have always love her, a few years ago I lost sight of this. I now know her, know who she is. I understand so much now. So many things make sense now. It took time but finally we are there.

Stylishous

This is why I love her! I know I am exhibiting some stalker-rish tendencies but I do so love Queen Latifah

One minute she is hip the next she is elegant!

Queen Latifah so totally rocks.

Pics: courtsey of Gettyimages.com

Being African part 2

Over two years ago I wrote this . A guest commented quiet a bit on it and I felt that I should bring his comment to the forefront for those interested. So take it away Bwana Guest!

Guys, I read with Interest the discussion on “Being African”, quite informative. I would like to highlight to you that Being African is neither a function of one’s skin colour nor is it one’s geographic location…rather, it is about the values and principles that one follows, believes and practices. I will highlight here the ten pathways that define “Being African” as espoused by one great African Scholar, Professor Mandivamba Rukuni:
1. Know where you come from, know and respect your family, relatives and your ancestors.
2. Know where you are going and fulfill the gifts that your God bestowed on you
3. Hold yourself with a long heart and happiness all the time – manage your emotions to keep a positive attitude!
4. Whatever you do, do it wholeheartedly, with all your strength and courage. This is the only way to build a real world.
5. Help others, give to others, receive from others and be thankful in giving and receiving from others.
6. Develop an insatiable curiosity for knowledge in life.
7. All God’s creations are sacred. Celebrate, respect and appreciate nature and all of God’s creations.
8. Have fun and games with others from time to time. This is the way in which your body, mind and spirit come together. Fun and games build your ‘Unhu-Ubuntu-Botho’ spirit.
9. Regularly sit down and have consultative discussions with family, neighbours and relatives. This is the surest way to build functional relationships in life.
10. Follow the Unhu-Ubuntu-Botho spirit. This is the way of life, valued by your ancestors and that unites you with God.

To the participants and those who contributed (and wish to contribute) to this discussion, the challenge is, as Afrikans, do we live by the principles and values of “Being African” as highlighted above, or we just follow the tag “African” either by association, colour or by historical accident. As I see it, “Being African” is a sum-total of the ten pathways, lived and experienced by a people, where colour is the last determinant, and values and principles reign. Is “Being African” the answer? For more information please follow the link: http://connactionzim.com/index.php option=com_fireboard&Itemid=33&func=view&id=7&catid=6. If you have problems with the link, please type: http://www.connactionzim.com, then click on ‘Forums’, then choose the forum ‘Being African’. The discussion in the link is based on the book entitled “Being African” by Prof Mandivamba Rukuni, published 2007.

I found the book challenging and interesting, and the discussion forum enticing!!!

The other side

Oh, the other strange thing that has been happening is this.

See there is Mrembo.. this persona you all kinda know. Then there is the other side of me.. that y’all don’t know about and she has been trying to unleash some stuff here.

It involves silly, crazy urges to blog about sex and stuff! 🙂

I am blushing just having said that.

Over at Mashada there was a topic about “to shave or not to shave” (with regards to women). I giggled as I read through the stuff “silly juvenile idots” was what I thought.

Quickly I came over hear to put out my point of view and then bang, I realised what I was writing and was like “hell nah…. can’t do that.

A few people who know me in real life read this blog and I would shock the bejeebers outta them.

So I have to reign in Ms Sexy Thang and pray that this urge to post sexy stuff ends 🙂

Have a fantabulously sexy day whenever you read this! Try and get some too lol! ain’t nothing like good old hot sweaty, toe curling sex!

Now with regards to the Mashada topic “to shave or not to shave” .. I am keeping my mouth firmly and squarely shut!  .

Good night… and nope I am not high,,… that was the other night! lol

lol= laughing out loud

Mental blogging

The other night I had the perfect blog entry. As I lay down to sleep, my mind wandered as usual and I did this entry.

It was delicious!

Thing is though, I don’t remember what the heck it was about.

These days I seem to have all these ideas, experiences and thoughts that I want to share. Then I blog them mentally and that’s that.

Once the mental thing is done, I loose steam to do it over here.

Boring!

It really was a good entry, I have been puzzling about it for like 2 days trying to dredge it up from the recesses of my memory to no avail. Alas I grow old!

Africa Oyeh!

Just finished reading bits and pieces of “New Vision”-One of Uganda’s daily papers and I am completely and utterly jaded! like fu*k that!

Why?

Because everything is so bloody dismal. Just plain depressing, sad, sickening, poor , dying dead!

I used to be “Africa’s” Number One fan. Nothing was too wrong, too sad, too corrupt etc etc about “home”. “Just give it time” was my mantra “look at how well Kenya is doing, see how far Uganda has come”. I was a die hard believer in our people and continent.

These days there’s just a big blah feeling in my mouth and soul about “home”.

I no longer watch the news too avidly. No longer read “home” newspapers daily. I generally don’t give a shit.

Even about political stuff here. I don’t care.

Apathy has paid a visit and seems like she’s here to stay and I don’t really mind.

Now I just care about my family and trying to make a GOOD living in this world.

Everything else is just plain irrelevant. I looked at my circle of influence and figured that everything else was just bogus.

And I feel free!!!!!