A few things about me

Please Xpuleini!

Ellen and her wife eh. eh .. Portia d'somone

Ellen and her wife eh. eh .. Portia d

Here is what I do not understand. How come Ellen is dressed like a man? So is she supposed to be the man in the relationship.

See that’s the part I don’t get about being gay. SOMETIMES it seems that in gay couples there is always the “feminine one” and the “masculine one”.. which to me sorta beats the whole point of being gay. How come there never seem to be two “masculine” gay men or two “feminine” gay women. As in why isn’t Ellen wearing a wedding dress? Or why was it when I saw the news cast about gay people in LA lining up to get married, among the Lesbians (i don’t like the way that word sounds) there seemed to be a “man”Lesbian and the “woman” lesbian?

Me I don’t get it. And then why is it like every gay person on tv.. especially the male one have to be so over the top! Aieh you should have heard what mum said when I kept pointing out the gay people on TV. She so loves Miss Jay Alexander of TopModel. Told me to write to him and tell him she is his biggest fan!

Miss Jay Alexander - my mum is your number one fan

Miss Jay Alexander - my mum is your number one fan

Mum absolutely shocked me. She is so ok about gayness. She can be so traditional on certain things then when I asked her about being gay she says

Mum: “mimi sina shida nao…. you know your cousin xyz si he is gay.. I have no problem.. only he should live his life openly.. hi mambo of him getting married again halafu his wife finds out after marriage he is gay”(Then there was a statement there about her hating men… nothing to do with being gay… but everything to do with lying cheating bastards”

Mrembo: and I was like “I knew it.. I knew it.. I knew he was gay!!”

if you read this as an anti-gay or gay-bashing post, you are so stupid!

NB: all pictures courtesy of somewhere on the net!


Comments on: "Please Xpuleini!" (11)

  1. kenyangay said:


    You are so wrong! Most gay people are quite ordinary looking and many couples do not have distinct roles. But there many personas in gay life and some do choose to take a dominant role like in the case of Ellen. I have written about this on my blog…the article is titled ‘ of tops and bottoms’.

    However, most of the ‘visible’ gay people tend to be effeminate or camp or queeny depending on the term one uses.

    My boyfriend and I are your typical guys next door and unless we told you, you cant tell we are gay or even who is dominant and who is passive..actually those roles are not there and depends on situations and sexual moods. We do not define ourselves with labels.

    Have I Xpuleinid?

    Thank you 🙂 You have xpuleinid kabisa! Apart from guessing that some people are gay, I cannot say that I know any gay people in real life. Hence all my info and opinions about gay people are based on what I see on TV. I did watch a lot of documentaries on Gayness while I was in the UK and I particularly remember one older male gay couple who were so ordinary looking and had been together for 20+ years. I remember being so astonished because of how “un-gay” they were which went against everything I thought I knew.
    I will be visiting your spot to read the afore mentioned article.

  2. kenyangay said:

    Oh your Mum is the best….. most ‘older’ African ladies don’t not understand homosexuality and tend to stay away form commenting or look shocked when they meet us

    She totally rocks! Hubby and I were so taken aback when she responded as she did. Hubby asked her how come she was so open minded and the story that followed had us in stitches. She talked about how she first heard about homesexuality at some conference at KICC just before the Beijing women’s conference. Ati she was at the gay stand looking at some leaflets and when she realised what it was all about she took off before she got caught on camera and printed in the newspapers. All in all she is very open about it and completely non-discriminating. Case in point. My gay cousin. Knowing all about it (cause the secret is kinda out in the open) she still went ahead and hooked him up with a job. As she says..mimi siingili mambo ya watu. XYz is good at what he does and when I was asked if I know anyone, I hooked him up”
    That’s my mums for you.

  3. kenyangay said:

    Ok am now mow taking over your space……. Your cousin was on the Downlow?

    It is very sad when people are on the DL but please try and understand that it is not all about cheating. In Africa( and in the case of African Americans) society and homophobia are the major reasons that men are on the DL. If it was easy to come out, then the DL issue would not exist.

    He still in on the down low. When wife number one left amid lots of mumblings I kinda sorta guessed at what the mumblings were but no one was talking. He then proceeded to get wife number two and then life sorta just went belly up for him and he took to drinking and the drinking allowed him to drop his inhibitions to the point that he was harrassing some younger male relatives and that is how the siri came out. So part of the family basically knows and apparently his new wife is aware but seems to have accepted it. The whole thing is a mess! I do agree with what you are saying. I am hoping now that it is an open secret (such an oxymoron those two words) that he will find some kind of happiness.

    There are two people whom I guess are gay. Both used to hang out with the said cousin till one left for abroad and has not been seen back home since. i think he is free where he is now. The other one got married. Thing is they were all very feminine on different levels. The other two are still my pals

  4. Well you see gays seek to replace the natural order with things with their own. Often with gay couples there is a top and a bottom, so I guess that role is also played out as they open. One shall be the man and one shall be the woman in the relationship.
    Gays seek to replace the natural order of society and nature with their own hence you seeing what you do. Ellen is butch and Portia is the lipstick lesbian. Miss Jay is most probably a bottom. As long as they are happy with their own order then it’s all

    Aco – really! I mean really! do you believe what you just wrote. I don’t know if I am reading it with the wrong tone, lakini what you have just said sounds down right ridiculous. Sisemi kwa ubaya.
    What do you mean by top and bottom? Ama are you making reference to Kenyangays article. I have not read it yet.. so let me go read.

  5. Hmmm, interesting issues.

    Aco, reading what Kenyangay has written above, he dispels that top/bottom maneno.

  6. I think the reason a lot of people have such misconceptions about homosexuality is that they are represented in the media in the most stereotypical and exploitative situations for the sake of attracting audiences. Even Ms. Jay, as much as I love her (she can teach a lot of us girls a thing or two about working it!) plays this minstrel type character on Tyra’s show because it is entertaining. Audiences (American audiences at least, it’s been too long since I was in Kenya to make any conclusions there) are really easy to please – think about the countless “gangster/thug black guy” you have seen on TV, the “angry/diva black woman,” the “funny accent ambiguously asian dude,” the “hungry/poor african” etc. These are easy images to portray and the director/script writer can imply them with very little effort.

    I can’t tell you why exactly Ellen chooses to wear suits. It may be because she is most comfortable in them – there are a lot of women (sexual orientations aside) that just can’t BE in a dress. It may be that she is making a statement – homosexuality is still a hard pill to swallow for a lot of people and by asserting her sexuality in this way, she may be trying to make people face this facet of her character. It may have something to do with feminism or she may just look better in a suit and is letting her hottie wife rock the dress. Who knows? I personally don’t think it should really matter, when we make a spectacle of such issues, I think we are missing the point – that these two people who love each other (for now at least, hollywood romances hardly last forever) are making a commitment to each other just like countless other people have. By making an issue of their sexuality (and all the related cues – what they are wearing, who is the man/woman, etc) we are setting them apart from a “normative identity” which is essentially the basis for discrimination.

    OK I will stop there, this is turning into an essay!

  7. ps kenyangay can you please put up a link to your blog? I really wanna check it out and it doesn’t link from here!

  8. kenyangay said:

    This is the link to my blog. http://kenyangay.blogspot.com/

  9. I think the people who will not accept homosexuality as a reality and as an okay way of life to follow are daft. (daft being too nice a word). It’s a way of life that a person chooses and how they (gays) live their life should not be anyone’s business as long as it does not affect the rest of the people. Just like religion, we (humans) are not in a position to say what is right and what is wrong. I don’t get the ‘natural order of things’ theory….for me, simply because something has been a pattern for eons does not make it ‘natural’. It simply means that humans have been to lazy to explore other options or not come up with better ways to do things.

    This in not an attack on you Mrembo.. i guess have been looking for a place to rant about that? maybe.

  10. eduactional thanks Mrembo and KG

  11. Gish, even me I learned a lot from KG . It is interesting how this has altered some of my thinking on the issue. (yeah, I do still have some issues…)

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