A few things about me

Archive for January, 2009

I Testify

I promised I would          testify. Read on.

One day, I got on my knees (figurativley) and prayed.  I asked for a number of things and promised that if those things came through, I would testify to God’s greatness.

Last week I was on the bus to town. As I got off I noticed an African lady with braids that could only have been done in Kenya or Uganda. So I decided I would  say hi. She was ahead of me.. walking really quick. I hurried, caught up and proceeded to introduce myself.  Her english was broken but good enough to carry out a conversation. I asked where she was from, she said Kenya so we switched to swahili. She was on her way to work. I asked where, she told me. I asked if they were looking for people, she said yes and told me to drop of my CV. Later in the day she called me and warned me not to mention her name.

The next day I called and was told that all I had to do was go down and fill some forms. That I did.  I was told they were not looking for any people but they would hold on to my CV. Saturday I got a letter inviting me to an interview.  I begin work on Wednesday. A day from today.

I am  🙂  😀  God has delivered. Added to that, I got the confirmation that I can start my ka-parttiime course IN DANISH on 4th Feb.

My testimony is this: He works. He delivers. You just have to hold up your part of the deal!

3 hours later…….
ok, ok, ok! my nagging conscious won’t let me go without me saying this.

Deep breath…. my job..or rather my ka-job is a …. deep breath… BLUE COLLAR JOB!  there I said it!

I am so ashamed to admit that after the euphoria of being offered the job on the spot, my spirits deflated. I was like.. ..

“ok.. so this is it God! Thank you for the job! but.. but … but…ok…. so maybe this is my period of humility and stuff… I am grateful but …. and I don’t want to be grateful with a but…. I want to be saying thank You with all the gladness in my heart”

And no.. I have not only been applying for blue collar work. My approach has been two pronged. I have sent apps for the kind of work I want and to the blue collar ones. (I am still debating on whether or not to tell my dad about my job… if you think I have hangups about blue collar work… you ain’t yet met daddy dearest!) And yes, this is a reflection of my hangups on status, education, selfworth and work.

I won’t lie.. I had to have a little one-on-one with God after I got home.

It’s now 5 hours since I got the good news and about 3hrs since I had my one-on-one with God and I am fine and VERY GRATEFUL.

I felt that I had to acknowledge all of these feelings here otherwise the post would not have been authentic… and you all know I am trying my best to be the best person I can be… that means being authentic and all.

One thing remains though…. God is Good!

A mother’s heart

Just finished watching “Slumdog Millionaire”.

My emotions are still raw. The movie was very good. I enjoyed it. A tad too long but good. I recommend it.

The reason I am posting is because of the emotions evoked. Ever since I gave birth to my son almost 2 years ago, I can hardly watch anthing to do with children.  If there is a scene with a child or children suffering, I just start crying, big ugly sobs! I can’t even watch documentaries about kids. Every child I see could be my child and the idea of my child suffering just about kills me.

Sometime when being introspective or in a mood, I will think that if I had to die now, I would have to cut a deal with God. Something along the lines of  ” I will only die willingly when my son is old enough to fend for himsel”. The idea of him being motherless now without me or his father to care for him just about drives me insane.

Big Al and I have talked about who we would want to have as our son’s carer in event of our “a tad too soon” death. We are agreed on who we DO NOT WANT but cannot seem to agree on WHO should be. There is also the aspect of asking people’s permission if we can list them as potential carers. Beyond the set of grandparents… things get a little tricky…then again maybe not. My sis-in-law and her hubby are my son’s god parents and she has 3 children herself.. …. horrible topic.

My prayer is that I will grow to see my own grandchild and see my son live happily into his adulthood.

God bless all the children!

Mrs O: The Dresses: My Take

You saw the green dress she wore for the swearing in.  When I first saw it I was like.. “eh, sparkles… during the day… not sure….ok… she looks nice… its is way to cold for that dress…..it’s growing on me, its growning on me.. it’s grown on me!”

Fashionistas and wannabe fashionistas are calling the dress yellow! Yellow my ass! That dress was some kind of lime green.. sijui green! me.. I don’t know but it was some kind of green . Then I woke up today  morning turned on CNN and saw

Was2130303

and I was like! WOW! She looks FANTABULOS.  I loved the dress. I think it was appropriate in keeping with her position as first lady. It was fresh and modern and testified to her funky upbeat style. I loved it.

However many fashion lovers aren’t loving the dress and I am not getting why they are not.  I love that Mr O matched. You know… white bow tie, white shirt. Oh oh and did you see them dancing… I was smiling like and idiot getting all fuzzy and happy. Them whispering to each other, him leaning into her.. total romance! 😀

I turned and looked at my husband.. Mr. Big Al and said to him

“you need to get invited to some big do where I have wear a gown and you a tux.. ”

I have never worn such an outfit. Never had the occassion to grace a black tie event.  And incase you are wondering.. nope I did not have a big white/red wedding.  So I have not had that cinderella moment! (red because my gown has to have burgundy red on it!)

but but but.. I have my wedding planned for 2012… God willing we will still be together.  We will have been married 10 years… then then.. I am going to have my big wedding/renewal of vows and my big ass wedding ring that is waiting for me at Tiffany’s in Harrods….(yup you got that right, I don’t wear a wedding band because from the very begining I have wanted a BIG SPARKLY GOLD 18 carats wedding band and nothing less)…. and here you were thinking that I am not high maintenance! 🙂

let me keep elaborating my dream wedding… I am enjoying myself…so on my wedding, I will get to wear my ivory dress which has red burgundy something on it (and it will not be sleeveless. I abhor those ugh!) I will have three rings on that day.. my engagement ring…(which I will pick out).. my wedding band.. which will match his (his will be a big ass one too!) and my life commitment ring from him to me. He gets two rings as well. Wedding and life committement.  You only get the LC ring after 10 years of marriage! The LC thing I copied it straight from an old friend. her hubby gave it to her once they clocked 10 years.

lovely dream!

Goodnight darlings!

Inaguration baby!

My husband is so disgusted but do I care!. This is why he is shaking his head in dismay
Mrembo: “This is so exciting.. can’t wait for Tuesday’s big bash inauguration”

Big Al: ” Mhm… why”

Mrembo: “Can’t wait to see what Mrs O is wearing”

Big Al: kisses his teeth (yeah he has learnt how to do that) and shakes his head in utter dismay….. he does not get it.

Anyway, I am so excited. I am obsessed with Mrs Obama. I just love the way she dresses and just in-case you missed it.. here is my plug again… http://www.mrs-o.org

Ten Relationship Myths

Because I am almost fully ticked off at something he did.. and because I am trying to diffuse my tickoffness…. I was distracting myself by webhopping and fell upon this.

Number three is so does apply at the moment!! 🙂

copied from Dr Phil.com

<h2>Ten Relationship Myths</h2>
Think your relationship is a failure because you and your partner aren’t following certain “rules” or meeting certain standards? Dr. Phil blows the whistle on 10 of the most common but dangerous relationship myths.

MYTH #1: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP DEPENDS ON A GREAT MEETING OF THE MINDS

  • You will never see things through your partner’s eyes because you are two entirely different people. You are genetically, physiologically, psychologically and historically different.
  • You will not solve your relationship problems by becoming more alike in your thinking. Men and women are wired differently. Attempting to blur your fundamentally different viewpoints is unnatural and even dangerous.
  • Recognize that a relationship is far more enjoyable when you’re with someone who enriches your life, not simply reflects it. Appreciate your differences.

MYTH #2: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES A GREAT ROMANCE

  • Yes, your life with your partner should include plenty of romance. But don’t kid yourself and expect an unrealistic Hollywood fairytale. The truth is that in the real world, being in love is not like falling in love.
  • Falling in love is only the first stage of love. It’s impossible to remain in that stage. A mature relationship will shift from dizzying infatuation to a deeper, more secure love.
  • Don’t make the common mistake of thinking that when the initial wild passion fades you aren’t in love anymore. The answer is not to start a new relationship so you can recapture that emotional high with someone else. The answer is to learn how to move on to the next stages of love for a different but richer experience.

MYTH #3: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES GREAT PROBLEM-SOLVING

  • Don’t fall into the trap of believing that you and your partner can’t be happy if you can’t resolve your serious disagreements. Ninety percent of problems in a relationship are not solvable.
  • There are things that you and your partner disagree about and will continue to disagree about. Why can’t you once and for all resolve these issues? Because in order to do so, one of you would have to sacrifice your values and beliefs.
  • You can simply agree to disagree and reach “emotional closure” even though you haven’t reached closure on the issue.

MYTH #4: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES COMMON INTERESTS THAT BOND YOU TOGETHER FOREVER

  • There is nothing wrong with your relationship if you don’t share common interests and activities.
  • If you and your partner are forcing yourselves to engage in common activities but the results are stress, tension and conflict, don’t do it!

MYTH #5: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP IS A PEACEFUL ONE

  • Don’t be afraid to argue because you think it’s a sign of weakness or relationship breakdown. Even the healthiest couples argue.
  • If approached properly, arguing can actually help the relationship by (a) releasing tension and (b) instilling the sense of peace and trust that comes from knowing you can release feelings without being abandoned or humiliated.
  • Instead of worrying about how many times you argue, worry about how you argue. Here are some guidelines:
    • Don’t abandon the issue and attack the worth of your partner during an argument.
    • Don’t seek conflict because it’s stimulating.
    • Don’t pursue a take-no-prisoners approach in your arguments.
    • Don’t avoid achieving emotional closure at the end of an argument.

MYTH #6: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP LETS YOU VENT ALL YOUR FEELINGS

  • Getting things off your chest might feel good, but when you blurt something out in the heat of the moment, you risk damaging your relationship permanently. Many relationships are destroyed when one partner can’t forgive something that was said during uncensored venting.
  • Before you say something you might regret, bite your tongue and give yourself a moment to consider how you really feel. The things we say while we’re letting loose often don’t represent how we really feel and shouldn’t be communicated — especially if they are potentially destructive.

MYTH #7: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SEX

  • The belief that sex is not important is a dangerous and intimacy-eroding myth. Sex provides an important time-out from the pressures of our daily lives and allows us to experience a quality level of closeness, vulnerability and sharing with our partners.
  • Sex might not be everything but it registers higher (90 percent) on the “importance scale” if it’s a source of frustration in your relationship. If your sex life is unfulfilled, it becomes a gigantic issue. On the other hand, couples that have satisfying sex lives rate sex at only 10 percent on the “importance scale.”
  • Don’t restrict your thinking by considering sex to be something that only consists of the actual physical act. Touching, caressing, holding hands and any means by which you provide physical comfort to your partner can all be viewed as part of a fulfilling sex life.

MYTH #8: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP CANNOT SURVIVE A FLAWED PARTNER

  • Nobody’s perfect. As long as your partner’s quirks are non-abusive and non-destructive, you can learn to live with them.
  • Instead of focusing on your partner’s shortcomings, remember the qualities that attracted you in the first place. Perhaps some of these idiosyncrasies were part of the attraction? Just because a behavior isn’t mainstream, doesn’t mean that it’s toxic to the relationship.
  • Be careful to distinguish the difference between a partner with quirks and one with a serious problem. Serious problems that are destructive and abusive include substance abuse and mental/physical abuse. Unlike idiosyncrasies, these are not behaviors you should learn to live with.

MYTH #9: THERE IS A RIGHT WAY AND A WRONG WAY TO MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP GREAT

  • Nothing could be further from the truth. There is no definitive “right way” to be a good spouse, good parent, or to handle any relationship challenge that life throws you.
  • Do what works for you rather than following some standards you might have read in a book or heard from a well-meaning friend. If what you and your partner are doing is generating the results you want, stick with it. If both of you are comfortable with the principles that work, you can write your own rules.
  • Remember not to be rigid about the way in which you accept your partner’s expressions of love. There is no “right way” for someone to love you. The fact that your partner expresses feelings differently doesn’t make those feelings less genuine or of less value.

MYTH #10: YOUR RELATIONSHIP CAN BECOME GREAT ONLY WHEN YOU STRAIGHTEN YOUR PARTNER OUT

  • Don’t fall into the trap of believing that if you could change your partner, your relationship would be better. You are, at the very least, jointly accountable for the relationship.
  • Let go of the childlike notion that falling in love means finding someone who will be responsible for your happiness. You need to take responsibility for your own happiness.
  • If your relationship is distressed, the most important person for you to change might be yourself. Once you identify the payoffs you are subconsciously seeking with destructive behavior, you can choose to remove them from your life.

Oprah- back on the wagon

I have a love hate relationship with Oprah. One minute I am digging everything… well almost everything she has to say the next 4 minutes I cannot stand to watch her show.

I have basically not been watching her for some time now.  I will turn on the screen see what is on.. then watch depending on if the topic gets my fancy. Even Dr Oz is boring!

(PS: the cable guy has not yet disconnected us.. we are watching cable on borrowed time 🙂 we gave them notice them days.  As far as I am concerned they can keep taking their sweet time!)

Anyway, as I was saying.. so today at around 10.45 – 15mins to end of the show, I decide to turn on the TV and see what Opie is talking about. And imagine what.. for the first time we in Denmark were watching what the guys in US were watching.. the new Oprah show of 2009 on which she tells us why she gained weight and how she is going to loose it.

I caught the last boring parts which had nothing to do with Opie.

It is now 23.16. Big Al is seated next to me doing his thing.. on his laptop.. can’t even tell you what it is. there is a cartoon drawing of a man on one side of the screen then some other scrambled things… coding.. what do I know.  Anyway, I was feeling hungry ..no I was feeling sorry for myself and decided to  something to eat.. so I asked Big Al if he would have tea and choco cake (left overs from his birthday) and he was like “yes love”

This story is going somehwhere.. it is related to Opie and the show I missed!— so anyway.. I made the tea and got him a choco slice. While in the kitchen I decided I am not really hungry.. and I will feel bad about eating the cake and that feeling is just not worth the hassle. i.e I did not get anything to eat!

I get back to the seat and ask Big Al if he feels like going to the toilet. He looked at me like I had lost my mind. “” What.. and why?

Mrembo: “don’t you feel like going to the loo”

Big Al: “Why”…(I can see he is getting irritated by my insane question

Mrembo : “So that I can watch Oprah on your computer”

Big Al: ” I offered to buy you a computer and you refused so nope”

Mrembo : “we have no money” (my husband likes to think that we won the lottery at one point… which reminds me.. why is the bank account balance telling me it is the end of month while the calendar says it is only 5th January)

Big Al: “what is in it for me”

Mrembo:  ” I made you tea and cake”

He concedes and hands over his comp to me and I get to watch bits of the show from Oprah.com. (my computer is so old.. that the memory cannot handle playing a DVD or stuff from certain websites… thankfully I can watch things off youtube)

Ms Oprah is a trip… nah.. she is just human. She put up her diet plan and I felt sorry for her. The only carbs she is getting is from half a sweet potatoe and oatmeal porridge.  She has already set herself up for failure. Once you have eaten chocolate, bread, cake etc.. there is no way you are going to successfully maintain weight loss on a diet that prohibits those things.  I FIRMLY believe that the key to weight loss is learning how to eat even the forbidens in moderation.

The other thing was how fascinating that even with all that money, she still has “everyday people problems”

Ain’t life funny!

Have a carb filled day!

Life’s Cards

Life deals you cards and play you must. The matter is how you play them.

This has been the mantra I have been muttering around the house as I did my winter cleaning. Baby was back in daycare after two weeks of being at home, Big Al was off to work, I had the house to myself and a big clean was in order. As I mopped the floors, dusted and moved things around, I repeated my mantra over and over again in its various forms. “There ain’t nothing you can do about it.. just go with the flow” “worrying about it does not change a thing” “it is what it is”.

Towards the end of last year, i recieved some devastating news from my family back home. It has impacted my family in ways I cannot describe. I have cried and cried and finally accepted that what is is.  I cannot delve into the whats and wherefores of it due to the fact that involves someone else’s privacy other than mine.

The new year has started good but “our issue” is with us and it will be with us as long as we live.  There is absolutely NOTHING that  can be done or could have been done. It is what it is.

It has brought a lot of heartache, dissention, denial, change, fear as wellas brought some of us closer. Through all this I have marvelved at the man that is my husband.

He has counseled me, cheered me, allowed me to cry and vent even when it was irrational. He has allowed me to express my inner most fears with regards to “our issue”. Not once has he shown me that “you’re on your own, that has nothing to do with me”. I thought I loved him, now I know I love him enough to do the stupid things people do when in love, ….. you know  like tattoo his name on my boob! 🙂

So here it is folks. Life deals you cards and play you must! It’s how you play that matters.

so go ‘ head and play baby play!!

Prayer

Yes I am a kaffir like that.. when things get ngumu I pray!

While the year is still fresh, may You… God the creator grant us strength, grace and love to face the challenges ahead! May You grant us wisdom and discernment.  And when it looks like we are finished… Lord please please shine the light!

Amen