A few things about me

A mother’s heart

Just finished watching “Slumdog Millionaire”.

My emotions are still raw. The movie was very good. I enjoyed it. A tad too long but good. I recommend it.

The reason I am posting is because of the emotions evoked. Ever since I gave birth to my son almost 2 years ago, I can hardly watch anthing to do with children.  If there is a scene with a child or children suffering, I just start crying, big ugly sobs! I can’t even watch documentaries about kids. Every child I see could be my child and the idea of my child suffering just about kills me.

Sometime when being introspective or in a mood, I will think that if I had to die now, I would have to cut a deal with God. Something along the lines of  ” I will only die willingly when my son is old enough to fend for himsel”. The idea of him being motherless now without me or his father to care for him just about drives me insane.

Big Al and I have talked about who we would want to have as our son’s carer in event of our “a tad too soon” death. We are agreed on who we DO NOT WANT but cannot seem to agree on WHO should be. There is also the aspect of asking people’s permission if we can list them as potential carers. Beyond the set of grandparents… things get a little tricky…then again maybe not. My sis-in-law and her hubby are my son’s god parents and she has 3 children herself.. …. horrible topic.

My prayer is that I will grow to see my own grandchild and see my son live happily into his adulthood.

God bless all the children!


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