Big Al won’t even listen to me harp on about this anymore. When I open my mouth and begin the famous sentence “So do you want another baby”… he shakes his head and says “I am not listening to your drama anymore.. make up your mind then come talk to me”
Its like this:
Around early November I met one of my friends from mother group. (She has become a casual friend). We meet rarely often at daycare when dropping of picking our little ones. Back when we met she said..”guess what I am 15 weeks pregnant….blah blah blah” I did not hear anything else except that. I was busy being shocked and tyring to get a handle of my pregnancy envy! Then I heard my cousin was having her second born, then lady at church was pregnant her second born… it felt like everyone was having their second born.. even on blogshpere.. . KenyanPundit was moving on to number two 🙂
Ala! was how I felt. Up until everyone else’s baby number two.. I was admant I did not want another one. I did not even feel the maternal call for number two that my cousin had told me about. Apparently it strikes when baby number one is about 1.5-2 years. That was not all….. I had not slept properly in almost 2 years, neither had I worked in 3 years. The idea of baby number 2 was so appalling to me. I was not bothered. Til November rolled in with all the number twos popping up here there and everywhere.
Thus begun my nagging
Monday: Mrembo to Big Al: “Its a good thing you are happy with just one child.. no way in hell I am having another one.. and anyway what’s wrong with just one child.. I mean.. what about women who can only have one”
Tuesday : Mrembo to Big Al: “Are you ok about having another baby.. I think I want one.. I can handle it.. Nikh needs a sister or brother .. what do you think.. that name you picked out is pretty cool.. works both ways”
Wednesday: Mrembo to Big Al: “Can you imagine xyz is having baby number 2. She crazy and number one is only 1 year old. Lucky them at least they have grandparents to babysit… no way I am having another baby… imagine all the work and not grandparents to babysit”
Thursday: Mrembo to Big Al ” I want another baby.. I really do. I want another baby for me.. not for Nikh to have a sibling but because I want another one. Lets go make another one 🙂 (This is the only part Big Al is interested in hearing!!)
And so on and so forth. That is how it has been since november. I AM CONFUSED. But one thing remains, I do want another one.
Did I tell you that in my mother group, out of the six babies, there is something wrong with 2. That is 2 in 6 have issues. The common denominator is that both parents were over 35 when they had thier respective child. There is no medical diagnosis as to what is wrong with them. One of them is just slow… as in mum told us it is not Downs nor could the docs say what it was after observing baby in hospital for the 4 days they were admitted. She is slow in all the developmental milestone and will probably be thus as an adult… just slow. The other one had a difficult birth (kid was even baptised the day he was born.. cause they did not think he would make it).. at 2 he is not yet walking. Scary stuff.
I say this to reinforce to me that my plan for retiring the uterus after 35 is a sensible one.
Now comes in my biggest dilemma.
I am 32 years old. Currently I have no career to speak of. I am back at school “re-training” so as to start another career in a niche area of my general educational background (does that make sense). If I decide to get pregnant later in the year…(aiming for a Sept/Oct2010 birthdate). That means.. I will have completed my course.. go on maternity leave for at least 9 months ( daycare here does not take in babies younger than 9 months.. or was it six)..then start looking for a job in that field after a 6-9months no work or study …. eh.. does not look good.
The other strategy would be to wait and get preggers late next year.. aiming for a Sept/Oct 2011 birthdate (makeing the age difference between my babies 4 years.. which is not bad when I think about it) But I will be knocking on 35… which is still within my boundaries…. Hence allowing me enough time to have found a job within my new career.. work for a year.. then take time out to have my baby ama??
I guess I just solved the issue.
And you men think that having babies is a willy nilly decision for women… especially working women in Europe.
My hat off to all the working mothers in the Western block. It is not easy! Those in AFrica.. eh.. the challenge is not the same… at all. You all still have the village to look out for your babies!