Its exactly three years to date that I arrived in Denmark to begin this chapter of my life and what a ride it has been.
The three have felt much longer than three. Chalk it down to all the life that has happened in that time.
So how are things on the whole:
- I speak good Danish. I can watch news and understand 90% of it. 2 or 3 words in a sentence will usually throw me off.. but generally I get it and Hello! I am doing a course in Danish (which I am so looking forward to completing..mothering + working+school + homework = having no time for anything). Case in point.. I am taking a break from reading a chapter to type this.
- I became a mother: That still leaves me in awe. Sometimes. I look at my son and think to myself “Good heavens, I am his mother, he is mine, who would have thought”. Motherhood is a ride and a half.. sometimes it has knocked my confidence, many times it warms my heart and makes me all lovey dovey. That animal protective instinct is so not a cliche. I used to think it was overrated.. me thinks it is actually overrated.
- A lot of personal development and growth has happened and still is. That I think is more to do with growing older than it is to do with being in Denmark.. though being out of my comfort zone i.e “home” has magnified things and added a few extra chinks is the wheel thus making things rather interesting!
I don’t know how I feel about Denmark. I have accepted that I am here and made the decision to be happy here since my son is DANISH and this is his home. It is interesting when I talk to my friends about going back home.. they are like “what the hell you going back for” My friend R really shocks me with her sentiments about going back home. She was transfered here late last year and it has been very refreshing to have someone from home whose at the “same level” with me (sounds elitist and snobbish but it’s true) here. She has such a different take on things and its not like she was struggling finacnially or otherwise back home. She has the career life that one once part of my dreams.
Anyway whenever I gripe to her about Denmark, she has a way of asking me hard questions, telling me how things back home actually are. She is a trained accountant and does all these economics/Economy/accounting stuff so she sees things from different perspective compared to me. Strangely enough she plans on going back and has no intention of being here longer than necessary.
The question she asked that staggard me was ” Mrembo, apart from your father.. what ties do you have to Uganda”. The answer was clear “None”…
She went on ” so why the hell do you want to go back.. you want to go back to something you left behind 8 years ago ….” she went on breaking it down for me.
That ka-question of hers really shook me so ofcourse I was on the phone to mum telling her about this Ug-connection and mum was like…” but it is true … apart from your father… there is no one.. the only other aunt whom you are close to migrated to the US….. (we were not even that close and she got on my nerves when she told me to start calling my step mum “mommy”)
Like most people I am close to my mum’s relatives and feel more rooted there than Ug because it was in Kenya that I grew up with cousins etc ….yet again having left Kenya to live in Ug…I am out of touch with my relatives.. … but my closest relatives are in Kenya and not in UG.
So that’s Denmark for you. I am not hating it but I can’t say I am loving it. Many times I feel like I am in transition and I know that has to do with getting our own place. Lord knows I really want us to buy our own place. When we manage that, then I guess it will begin to feel like home. For now it is kinda home cause my life is here. My husband and my son are here and even if things were to end with my husband (I am not being negative.. just practical) I would still stay here for my son’s sake. But I do not want to grow old here. Salala.. that is why I still hang on to home. Ati being old here in winter…no
So what rating would I give Denmark on a scale of 1 to 10.. 10 being heaven
that’s so hard. Here is why:
In Denmark or Western world. Things work. You turn on the tap, you get hot or cold water. There is no going to the tap and wondering if you have to boil water in the kettle for a bath. Electricity does not go out. No fuel shortage, free medical care, no paying bribes to cops and government … basically things work. You flush the toilet.. there is water.. no rude shocks there 🙂
BUT BUT BUT.. the price we (as immigrants) pay is high. The emotional conflict. One foot here another one at home, the loneliness (that really stinks by the way), the isolation (no radio you relate to, no plethora of magazines featuring people that look like you, not some many people like you on the street). That’s the price we pay. (this fabulous speech is a direct quote from my friend N whom I was talking to today about this very issue)
so back to the scale. I want to give it a 4.5.. but that is dishonest. So a 6.5 all factors considered. yeah 6.5
I have not bitched about my career because I think this is not the year to do so.. everyone or rather many people.. broken dreams or not are facing some challenging times career wise juu ya FINANCIAL CRISIS!