True to my word, I said I would be back around June 🙂
I am back in more ways the one. The man, child and I were away in Nairobi and Kampala for a total of six weeks. We got back a couple of days back.
Do I have stories or what. While away I had a lot of time on my hands but not babysitter so it was next to impossible to get time to dash off to the local internet cafe and blog. Everywhere I went little boy went too.
So what was my trip like. Where do I even start. I have been cataloguing my thoughts and experiences trying to create some sense of order before I blog. Unfortunately those that weigh heaviest on my mind are the very ones I cannot blog about due to thier personal nature to others.
I will say this though. Never ever did I think I would look forward to coming back to Denmark, but I did. I actually was ready to come home after one week. The reasons are legion, the feeling consistent. Even now when I look back and try to put everything in place, I still feel the same. Shoulda never taken such a long trip.
My family both in Uganda and Kenya were good and not good. Oxymoron, I know, but it was such. Life has a way of taking you by surprise and then beating you down like you never thought and keeping you there. Even though I heard one of those preachers on “Family TV” say “every problem has an expiry date” I was like.. “I’m not too sure about that.”
I never knew how someone else’s unhappiness could just BOG YOU DOWN. Never before have I felt the need to “run away from misery”. That’s the best way I could put it. And there ain’t nothing like trying to solve a problem that money can’t solve. Seriously, yeah you thought money was everything. Hello rude shock! I met that problem that even money can’t handle. I saw how life can beat you down and keep you down for almost 4 years and still keep at it. I saw how one can be alive, laugh, cry, talk and still not be “there” or to use Oprah speak “be missing from one’s own life” due to a beating from good old life. I saw how hope and faith can keep one alive and “present” but just barely. I saw how rock bottom is not just for an instant, it can be years in happening.
So my trip was good and bad. It was hard to see that aspect of my family to see them fighting hard to stay happy and find some semblance of joy in this life we call world. That was very very hard and harder was accepting the fact that “there ain’t nothing I can do about this, and I owe it to me, my hubby, my son and them to be happy.
So that was my trip in a nutshell.
Like I said, I have a lot on my mind so I will be blogging.
Things I wanna talk about
- The Kenyan/Ugandan man
- The Kenyan/Ugandan woman
- Are there any happy/satisfied Kenyans/Ugandans in a stable relationships. (for real, I am not even joking)
- Is money the be end of all in Kenya
- How long do “bad spells” of life last? and is it really about one’s attitude when facing a problem or are all those pshycoanlysts and positive thinkers full of shit. At this point in my life, the tv show “House” really gets to me because House’ life and emotions come a bit too close to home.
- Where and who is God in Kenya/Uganda
- You are all being conned by stupid pentecostal preachers (I just might join them seeing as people really like giving money)
- I am now a FIRM believer in the separation of church and state. (that whole constitution thing in kenya and peoples views and religion. God save Kenya)
- The concept of “home” after marriage, marriage and kids and after divorce.
like I said, many blog posts to come gotta run.
PS. my trip confirmed one thing. I got it made: for real folks, I got it made!