A few things about me

Archive for July, 2010

On my mind

Now more than ever I have been thinking about contraception. The coming baby is my last. Full stop. No comma, no dash. The one thing that guarantees 100% no pregnancy is abstinence. Show me a happily married abstaining couple and I will show you a couple who is getting it on the side without the other’s knowledge.

The pill has never had my vote. I have no idea what sex my baby is and part of me is hoping it is a boy because one of the things I keep thinking is.. “what will I say to her when it comes to contraception, cause I sure as hell  am not putting her on the pill” I don’t care how ignorant that sounds but like I said.. the pill never got my vote, so there. The other thing  about having a girl is that I don’t want to learn how to do hair 🙂 I am  shallow like that! Hubby would like a girl cause he says it would balance out .. what ever that means, but also says that when it comes to a girl we have to worry about many penises while with a boy we just have to worry about one penis 🙂

Alas I digress back to the topic at hand.

Any hormonal stuff is out of the question.

Condom…. eh not an option

The non-hormonal coil/IUD worked for me, but like all other methods nothing is 100% full proof. I personally know a lady who had baby number 4 after 9 years cause the damn coil had moved. 4 months into her pregnancy is when she found out. She was 39 last year when the baby was born. One of those shocks life delievers and you are left thinking eh??

Two options left.. his snipping as in a vasectomy or my snipping as in sterilatzation. In all honesty I had never consider these seriously till I was talking to  friend A about it. She brought it up saying she had/was seriously considering it. In my ignorance I said that there were side effects after female sterilzation as far as I had heard, but would read up on it. Off I went to the net and  have been reading rather extensively on it, looking for forums where I can read of folks experience. Thus far everything is pointing towards this being my  choice of contraception/pregnancy prevention.. but a funny thing has been happening.

I find myself thinking about the FINALITY of sterilization. As in there is no reversing the process and it is sorta scary. Yet at the same time I am saying to myself “are you crazy, you don’t even want child number 3 so what is the problem here, get it done and over with”

So I talked to Big Al about a vasectomy as an option and he smiled that smile of his and nodded his head in that way which said..” you have got to be out of your f…ing mind if you think I am about to snip snap anything! 🙂 On a serious note he said he would think about it since he had never really thought about it. Then I realised that I had didn’t really know how many children he wanted and was he finished with the whole daddy thing, so I popped the question.  And true to himself he asked why I was asking. I told him about this post. His answer was that he was definitely finished having kids. Two is the perfect number for him. I reminded him he is only 31 still a very young man. His response. “Two is all I need and I am done”

Thing is I understand where he is coming from cause I have the same hesitation and I cannot even explain it. In no way am I habouring the desire for a third child. I am more than grateful for my one and the one on the way. The thought of another one is just scary. I am 33 years going on 34 at the end of the year.

So for now I am just sorta there still haven’t made up my mind. I can still use the coil method, but at the back of my mind is that niggling thought “it can fall out, it can move, it can be put incorrectly, it is not 100% pregnancy proof”. So what to do.

There is still time to make up my mind.   No rush for now.

PS. This baby better come soon, I am bored out of my mind being at home. I need something to keep me occupied and I promise, no whining when I get only 3 hours of sleep. Now I know for sure that it is only for a season 🙂

Have a fabulous day. I intend to.

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For your listening pleasure

I’m jamming and having one heck of a time..Enjoy

The madness that is Dansk Folke Party

I promised there would be no mention of politics on this blog after my disatorous political dribble about 2 years ago and I have pretty much kept that promise.

Tonight though I must break from my promise to rant about the madness of Dansk Folk Party.

A few facts about the party which is pretty much an extreme right wing party.

  • It is the third largest political party in Denmark
  • It is led by a woman called Pia Kjærsgard but the brains behind the party is some guy whose name I forget.

 

Lifted from thier website they say

  •  “The country is founded on the Danish cultural heritage and therefore, Danish culture must be preserved and strengthened
  • Denmark is not an immigrant-country and never has been. Thus we will not accept transformation to a multiethnic society

More about the party can be found here.

A lot of what they state as thier mandate  would apply to any country until you listen to the propaganda they peddle in the guise of “protecting Denmark and her independence”.

In my humble opinion this party peddles “fear of all that is foreign or foreigners” in order to garner votes. They do it well and very effectively. 

The reason for this rant is that I have just turned off the TV after watching a RIDICULOUS debate between Dansk Folk party and Venstre Party ( the party in power) about a new rule. Currently any Danish citizen wishing to marry a non-Dane must be 24 years old or older. This, says Dansk Folk party was  in order to stop forced marriages among the foreign/immigrant communities (read muslims) in Denmark and allow women in these communities to finish thier education. So essentially if you are below 24 years of age, are a Dane and wish to marry a non-Dane, you may do so but your spouse will not be eligible to live or come to Denmark. Ones choice is therefore to  wait till you are 24 or marry and live in another country. When they passed this law I guess they did not think of all the Danes who wanted to marry Americans, Brits, Australians etc…

Today they are proposing that the rule be change to 28 years of age HOWEVER a DISPENSENTION will be offered to Danes wishing to marry citizens of  western nations such as America, Australia and UK because THEY have an easier time intergrating into Danish society as opposed to nationals of non-developed countries.

Two words

INSTITUTIONALISED DISCRIMINATION

I do not know why I am even bothering to be bothered. Surely by now I should be past this kind of stuff.  It bothers me because I think to myself what chance does my son have in this country which is so AGAINST all things non-Dane.. or should I say non-aryan.

It bothers me that the party actually has young members.

It bothers me.

But here is the thing, I can understand why the party is the third largest in Denmark.  Having  returned from home about 4 weeks ago, things are still fresh in my mind and I gotta tell you this. Danes have it good. Believe it or not, Danes have it really cushy.

Free health care.. as in totally free, free school, free university, good infrastructure, a very small gap between rich and poor and things work in this country.  Now take it from me. I have lived in England and it is better than England. I therefore do understand why they want to protect what they have and so would any country. It is true that they have never been an immigrant country and have built what they have themselves. But and it is a big but the world is shrinking and as much as Dansk folk party wants to remain insular and purely Denmark they cannot. In the 1960s they invited immigrant workers to come because they did not have enough workers. There is still a shortage of skilled and unskilled labour and they do open thier doors to so called approved immigrant workers. It is inevitable that the world is becoming a melting pot and Denmark cannot and will not avoid it. Instead Dansk Folk party tries to bury thier head in the sand and creat fear of all things foreign.

I know that this problem is not particular to Denmark. American has it with its Mexican immigration issues. France, Italy and Germany has it with illegal immigrants from Africa, Australia has with Asian immigrants. Kenya has it with Somali immigrant, Uganda has it with Congolese etc etc.. I could go on forever .. so it is nothing new.

What makes Denmark stand out.. that they make their BLATANT discrimation LAW and that for me is crosses a certain line.

Rated R

I am bored. This is never a good thing for me. Never ever. See I am full of enegry, boundless energy and the need to constantly be occupied or doing something is innate. My son is like that. An energy bomb. I totally understand him and I think that is why we get a long so well. I have been working abit too hard here in the house, cleaning, clearing and throwing away stuff  so much so that my body decided to remind me to slow down by giving me a melt down yesterday. Not fun at all. So today I have done absolutely nothing. The living room is a mess. My bed remains unmade, I have dishes in the kitchen… just writing about it makes me want to get up and do something. But I won’t because when Big Al comes home later today, we are having a nice barbeque and I intend to be full of energy and spirit. The house ain’t going nowhere now is it?

Linked to this boundless energy is a short attention span. Yup.. mine manifests itself in tiring of things easily and right now it is reading. I am sick and tired of Vampire/shapeshifting romance novels. Blah blah blah. The first few I read were new and exciting now it’s all so boring. And for those of you not in the know.. there is a new genre of romance novels out there called romantica. A fusion of erotica and romance. Yes I have read loads and loads… uh you didn’t know that about me now eh 🙂 I am freaky like dat!

There is a ton of rubbish romantica and there is only so much “his manhood was as big as a wrist and she could hardly get her hand around it and wondered if it would ever fit ” I can read before it all becomes boring. At the end of the day, the story, character development, relationship development has to be “tight” for the love scene to add spice to the story. Many writers seem to think that the sex scene makes up for the lack of plot and skill… nope it does not! That said, I am bored with all the romantica. I just want a nice tidy, long romance novel which will leave me weeping with joy and sadness. One classic I love and read at least once a year “Whitney my love” BUT my absolute absolute FAVORITE ROMANCE novel of all time has to be “the shadow and the star”…  I just sigh when I think of that book. I read it at least twice a year.  uh.. that is a lovely book.. the restraint, the comehither, the love dance. Sigh!

Anyway I digress from the main point of this blog. I was over at Oprah’s and saw this. All sorts of ideas started popping up in my head and one of them was my famous LISTS. More of a “bucket list of things to do with Big Al or to him” lol… I am blushing. All sorts of naughty stuff. And yes I have learned of a few things from all those romantica novels I have been reading.

To leave you with a line I read.. which just had me dying of laughter.. still cracks me up when I think of it…It goes something to the effect

“”his penis was calloused from hard use.”

say it with me… eeuuwww!!

Moving forward

Today is a good day because today I set aside my fear and get on with living my life.

This is my life.

This is what I have and I am going to work with what I have to achieve my dreams.

I know life will sometimes throw me unexpected curve balls, but that’s alright. Been there, stayed there, wallowed there, got out, moved on, got hit again, but I am still up and running. So fuck you for trying to think you can keep me down again. I am up and running again and watch me fly.

Since I love lists and to-do action plans. (I love them! They give me a sense of control and the feeling that I am progressing towards something cause every so often I cross things off my lists and I feel like Superwoman 🙂

Here is my to-do lists:

Very Short-term to-do /To be done list (by 10th August)

  • Pay the dentist bill today
  • finish tidying up the library/office and clear out that box of baby clothes into the plastic box
  • find a permanent home for the clothes in the boxes
  • sweep the garage and make sure things are away from potential water leak
  • put all books that are in cardboard boxes into suitcases
  • finish the list of all the decorative stuff we need for the  house so that we can budget for what we need
  • buy legs for the box mattress
  • buy the baby pram and clean the baby car seat (like pronto) stop fiffing around on this
  • buy the grass cutting machine (we are the only house on the road that has a garden looking like a jungle… I am not even joking
  • Start ticking things off the list on the fridge

5 Month Goal (deadline Jan 31st 2011)

  • Finish the business plan FINISH IT. ( i don’t know where to start or end….. FINISH IT. You went to school, you know how to research stuff. Finish it. Period
  • Loss all the pregnancy weight – goal is 73kgs. As of today 20th July 2010 I weigh a whopping 95kgs. Pre-pregancy weight was 78kgs
  • Finish the buiness plan
  • Find out about that course … just find out.. nobody said I have to join it.. just get all the details then you can decide what to do next ok.. just find out.
  • Spend 1 hour everyday reading something in danish and write it out. (I swear to God the goals I set myself.. but fuck.. this I have to do if I want to get what I want.. . shit… I already don’t even want to do it.. but I gotta do it..

 So there you have it.

Recorded on cyber space for all and sundry to witness.

Let the crossing begin.

Beauty lessons with Mrembo

This post was originally done on 19th July then while I was editing it then windows crashed…. you get the drift.

🙂 is how I am today morning. Hope you are feeling the same way and if not 😀

Remember this post I did on aging? remember…

Sometime after that I went off and bought some urembo /beauty products in order to launch my “young and endlessly beautiful regime” that was to last a life time.

Here is my review of the products I have been using since then.

A bit about my skin .. on my face.. not the rest of my body. I have moderate acne.. which sometimes flares up and sometimes behaves.. but I always have 4 / 5  or more spots. I also have dark spots as a result of the acne (hyperpigmentation). I have large pores and oily skin. That’s the summary of my face. Off to the product review.

(PS: because I am a  few weeks away from giving birth to  my second baby, I have not used any of my prescribed medicines since they are not to be used while pregnant or lactating… so for the past 8.5months I have not used them at all)

PSS:  I do not buy the big/normal size products. I buy the ones that come in a set and are usually on sale at very affordable prices.

First up in December 2009 was:

  • Clinique – Even Better Skin tone range

                     

 These were the first two that I started off with. I had seen them in a magazine and there was emphasis under “all skin tones”.  They did absolutely nothing for me. I did not notice any difference in the hyperpigmentation AT ALL. They did not deliver on their promise. The serum which I used morning and night lasted 5 weeks. The moisturiser was a tad oily but ok. But it does nothing for hyperpigmentation. I emptied the jar just this past week.  The positive about the moisturiser was that it did not result in any more additional breakouts and I used it both in UG and Ke without it being overly oily. it has a high SPF which I hear is the holy grail of anti aging products.

  • Shisedo – Pureness Range

So after my clinique serum got finished I went back to the mall. I did not have a plan, was just going to look for a brand. The lady at the Shisedo stand quickly got hold of me sold me her product. I was impressed with her knowledge and bought  (a) Deep cleansing foam, (b) matifying moisturiser-oil free (c) anti shine matifying lotion (d) night moisturizer light – all from the pureness range which the sales lady assured me was for oily skin. (sorry was unable to copy the pictures from their website-use the link if you want to see the products)

What I liked. The cleansing foam has as delicious scent that is not overpowering and gentle scrub beads. (too gentle to be effective if you ask me) The matifing lotion which was step two was lovely, the skin felt softer after using it. The moisturiser is also good. I could use it both in Ke and UG without it being too heavy or oily. No additional breakouts after using. Basically nothing changed.  I used all products until they were finished. The night cream was simply a very small sample I got. I lasted about 2 weeks. I still have the cleanser.. loads.. but the matifying lotion and moisturizer got finished. Overall verdict. I did not notice any difference in my skin in terms of acne or oiliness.  The fact that there were no negative reactions means that they are products I would continue using.

  • Olay – Regenerist

This one was a bad bad purchase.  I have used it a total of four times and it caused my skin to break out and I got  a rash over my whole face. I still have the jar.. if anyone wants to try it.. drop me your address and I will see how to send it to you.  I bought it after a friend recommended it. She says it is working for her. It is a night regenerating cream /anti aging. To be used only at night. The idea is that it rejuvenates your skin during the night and after long -term use your skin looks young blah blah blah.

  • Protex soap – for sensitive skin (the wrapper has pink)

A long story here: I was in Nairobi for 3 weeks, then took off to UG for 2 weeks and returned to Nairobi for another week. While in UG my cleansers  got finished so I  started  using protex for my face and body.I also used a kyangwe on my face every 2 days or so. What is a kyangwe. It’s that body buffer/traditional face towel from a plant.  When I returned to Nairobi, sis and mum complimented me on my skin saying it had cleared and was looking really good. I took a good look in the mirror and realised I was almost without an acne spot. They asked what I had been using and I was like protex followed by my clinique moisturiser and that was it. After that I kept using the protex and have been using it since but my face is back to looking the way it usually does.. I have about 15 ance spots right now. My theory is that is has something to do with the diet while I was there. The main difference was that I ate a lot of chips and sausage , groundnut sauce, matoke and I think less bread and less tea with milk. I drunk loads of water because it was really humid and hot. And that’s about it.

I did buy loads of protex which I brought back with me.. but now I am wanting to concentrate on my diet and see if it makes a difference. I want to cut out the bread  and milk (in tea as well as diary products ) and see what happens. Before I do that I need to come up with a plan to replace all the bread and diary products otherwise I will fail before day one is even over 🙂

So that is my take on my beauty regime. I soon need to find a moisturiser. I am leaning towards clarins since I hear it is one of the best with a high SPF . Any suggestions.

Boobs galore

Í spent two weeks in Kampala. While I was there it was hot hot hot!. I was sweating like a pig, am not even joking. By mid day it was game over for me. The only thing I could do was eat and sit. But that’s not what this post is about. It is about beautiful boobs, hanging boobs, pushed up boobs and all the kinds you can think of.

I always thought of “african girls” as being modest. I had to reevaluate that thinking after being in Kampala. I was like.. “whaaaa happened while I was away”. My sister says I am still living in the 90’s as far as Ug is concerned and I think she is right.

Every event/party or gathering I attended boobs were on display baby. It was about push them up and together, then wear a low neckline top and boobiiee!. It was a magnificent display. My own boobs just wanted to crawl away and die. Never having been abundantly endowed I have never paid them that much attention when it comes to “dressing them up”. This time I was like.. “wacha I get back home and get me some Wonder and Victoria secret bras…not about to be left behind”

Here are a few pics as examples. (trying googling, black women in bras and see the rubbish that turns up… so sorry.. could not find decent pics of black boobs! 🙂