Just a Band

Archer once blogged about these guys, that’s how I got to know about them. First time round I was not feeling thier songs but this one, oh la la baby. Just touches me in all the mushy places of my soul. It’s a sweet sweet song and the video is totally plus. Reminds me of  Freshly Ground’s Pot Belly love

Watch, enjoy and support

I am over at Youtube watching music videos, having my own little disco party.

Oh and if you have not been by YayeMarie’s you all need to stop by. She has some lovely stuff going on there.

Just finished

I just finished reading The Memory Keeper’s Daughter  by Kim Edwards.  I picked it up at our local library in the new town we have moved to. I was starved for some English books, cause i have not read anything new in like 3 weeks and I was going through withdrawal symptoms. The English section of the library is pitiful, but I found this gem.

I found the language a tad verbose , too flowery and  overly descriptive. Some sentences were unnecessarily long but the story did grab me from the very begining and I just had to finish it. Unlike some books, I did not read it word for word and found myself scheming through some pages.

What touched me about this book is the author skill at depicting how distance between two people grows and how human beings can sometimes fail to “see” one another especially  in supposedly “intimate” relationships. How in our misguided love for others we can do one thing or things that create even more distance and kill a relationship. How we can do something so wrong and yet at the core of us not be evil in anyway. How the truth, no matter how hard it is, is always the best way forward, always.

Now I gotta go cook and shake off the feeling of this book. It was a tad heavy, emotionally that is.

Have a truthful day. Resolve in yourself today to always tell the truth. Trust me, it is hard hard hard, but by God, the saying is true, it does set you free. Remember every decision you ever make has a consequence , so why not start out with the truth, no matter how ugly it is.

Snapps all around.

Woes on the Job

For the past two weeks I have been posted at another hospital washing beds and  making beds. I HATE MY JOB. With that out of the way let me proceed.

It’s 06:22 in the morning. I am showered dressed and ready to leave the house. I have had the car since my commute is a little longer and without the car I would not be able to pick Nikh on time from the day care lady. Big Al cycles him to daycare then gets the bus into work. I pick him up in the afternoon. It’s working fine for now. I hate that washing bed thing so much, more than my usual gig which is ironing and folding clothes. At the other place I have my pals, we get a long, there’s lots of people. Here, I work with three other people and they are fine and all.. we just don’t blend, a lack of chemisty.

One of the guys keeps pulling or touch his penis. It is so disgusting and unsightly. And because he keeps using his forefinger and thumb I can’t help thinking “kwani how small is it” . He keeps adjusting it or them, me I don’t know and it just ugh! yuck! I feel like yelling, keep your hands away from your crotch or do it in private. Or maybe his underpants are tight. Gross!

The other guy is a thug. Walks like one, talks like one, has the air of one. He is the kind of guy I do not want to meet alone. I swear he looks like those rightwing, “keep Denmark white” , I hate all non-white people thugs. We do not talk, he does not talk to me, I do not talk. I can’t even look at  him. He just creeps me out totally.

His mother is my supervisor.. would you believe that. She asked me if I like this new gig, I was like, I would rather go back to my other place. She was not expecting that response and I could see she was taken aback.  I am through with lying to make people feel comfortable. So later she comes back saying, it’s because you don’t smoke and because there are not so many “foreigners” working here as opposed to the other place. I was like “whatever”. Then the ball grabber had been giving me orders and directions all the time. “you gotta straighten out the edeges of the sheet, this is how you do it, blah blah blah, good job, now you just have to be faster.. ” Yesterday I told him off. He started on his orders and I said in my nice polite way with a smile “you’re irritating me with your orders. I know what I am doing and if you want it perfect then stop asking me to worker faster. I have been here 1 week, 3 days. You have been here over a year, lay off with the orders” He was taken aback too. Started saying stuff about just wanted things to look good blah blah blah, I wanted to rid him of his balls. Idiot!

Back from work and continuing this post at 16:00 (Big Al and Nikh are out in town bonding, the roast is in the oven, pototoes await peeling, usual back from work housework awaits.. but I’ll get to that when I am done here)

Yesterday’s word of the day was VUMILIA (persevere). As I worked the only thing I could think was  “I am slowly dying here, I need to get out of this place, I will die in my soul if I keep doing this, I cannot take this any longer”  So that was clear, then I asked myself  “ok then , so you quit your  job then what? What are the alternatives? I came up blank. Job hunting is totally out of the question.

I resolved in myself that I never ever want to be employed by anyone ever again. Me going to work for someone, me begging or hunting for a job is not in the cards. I DON’T WANT TO. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH. So I have been working on something, something that is so long from fruition, I loose hope and I gain hope, all the while working and strategising towards this thing that I am planning on doing. I am scared out of my bones, but fuck that, I tried the employment thing, and it ain’t cutting it, so I’m going to try this other thing and see what happens. It fails, it fails, at least I tried.

So if I am not job hunting and if my other thing is not off ground then what, sit at home and be bored, poor and upset… hence “VUMILIA mama! just a little longer sweets, you have a lot on your plate right now, get that out of the way then get cracking“

Today’s word of the day has been “count your blessings” and that I did on my ride to work, aloud in the car, like a mad woman beating away at the blues that want to make home in my mind.

That which has brought the hate for my job into focus is working with these new guys. Honest to God, there is nothing wrong with them at all, apart from what I said about, it’s just that we don’t gel and already I hate what I do, now add lack of chemistry and hey presto. But I am a fly chick, hot chick, tough chick. Tomorrow is my last day. Even if they beg and cry there is no way I am staying there next week. I want back at my other boring mundane job. At least I get to laugh and see my buddies.

So if you are having a tough ride at the moment, VUMILIA. It never ever last forever. That’s the beauty of life, nothing is static, everything changes in time and with time. It’s just a matter of time.

Kisses folks.

Quick hit

found these guys tonight. Take a look and be entertained.
http://kenyanboyschoir.com/

Fasta fasta!

1. I employ ” ! “ way too much in my writing. I know I need to revisit my grammar lessons, more so now that I am thinking of offering my  expertise to  school kids in need of  extra tuition in English. (will let you know more about that once I have got my replies back).

2. We have finally moved and tomorrow will be exactly 7 nights we have spent in this house. My absolutely non-religious husband shocked me on our first night here when he said to me ” so have you prayed for the house…….tonight when we have dinner you should say a prayer for the house.. then later on get the local priest/pastor to come pray for the house”. I was gobsmacked! Thing is, everytime we have moved into a new place; this house being fifth, I  have always prayed and recounted to Big Al, how my mum had the local pastor come to our home and pray for the house I grew up in and that mum still lives in. I remember her telling me that her dad, my granddad, had told her to ensure she did that. The pastors came home, had tea and later we had “maombi” /prayers for the house. The prayers go along the line of chasing away any evil, calling for God to dwell and bless the home etc etc. Since then I have always, always prayed for any space I live in, before I lay my head down the first night.

Even when my dad moved house, the other home I grew up in (and my dad did not do church or religion while I lived with him..  though of late I hear he has been going to church), I went around praying for the house, for each and every room. First time I did it Big Al thought it cute, later he would tease me about it, but I still prayed. So his request to get the pastor he pleasantly surprised me.

3 . We are slowly falling into routine. The house is still a building site and hopefully work will be finished in about 3 weeks. We are of the opinion, things take the time they take. No point in rushing them, then getting shoddy results in the end. We chose to have the bathrooms and hallway redone. We are having floor heating installed and a new floor. That has entailed them digging all the way to the ground, literally and redoing things again. Right now we live in the family room. The builders provided an outdoor toilet/shower container.  So we shower on the main driveway . When I get a minute I´ll put up pics.

4. And that’s about all from me. Don’t know when I will be back. There is loads and loads to be done and since money is an object, we are doing loads and loads ourselves.  We got the living room and kitchen painted. We still have the utility room, 3 bedrooms and hallway to finish. Then there grass to be mowed, plants to be uprooted, clothes line to go up, lots and lots of stuff to do, which my middle class African self is saying.. haki ya mungu, I wish I could get someone to do this!

5. I have been thinking about being grateful and at this point in my life I feel I have a lot to be grateful for. My husband loves me and I him. My child is healthy, loving and happy. He brings us much joy. One of my dreams came true. I co-own a house (ok so the bank is letting me live in it till I…eh we… pay them off, cause we all know they own my house). My health is good. My mum, sis and dad are alive and well. Life is tough but they are tougher. No health issues there. I have a few good friends. One who surprised me while we moved, my heart was touched.  The list is pretty long when I sit down to think about it. So I have been very thankful. Praying to the powers that be an offering my thanks. (let’s not even start about who I pray to. All I know is that there is a God/supreme being and that is whom I pray to, if HE goes by the name Allah, God, Jehovah, Mungu, Mukama… me I don’t know. All I know is that I pray.. tosha gari!

So have a thankful day. It may not all be perfect or as you had planned, but you know you gotta it better than most.. hey .. you can read this, that alone means you have access to a comp and internet and that puts you in a better place than many. So give thanks

Be blessed.

@#* bleh “#! and everything

I had run out of gas totally. Decided not to push it and rode the gas-less wave. Then someone sent me an “I think you should try this one out” email. I looked at the email and thought, yeah, I can do this. The engine begun to rev. Been so long since I had that feeling and I got into the groove of things.

Did the first cover letter sent it off for editing and stuff. That was today morning. An hour ago I was filling out this long-ass application form and guess what, I get to part 8, the end of it all and frigging bleh!.  I had to attached a cover letter, which I had not yet done, cause my stupid reasoning concluded that I would not need it. So I start to do the cover letter and in the process loose all the work I had done because the totally useless website does not let you close, save and return later. effing shit if you ask me.

I am off work this week and next due to moving house and Nikh starting daycare at a new place. I am beat. (yeah right, and you still have time to blog) bugger off I say!

Two things, being without loads of money is a pain. Living in Europe can be a pain. I could do with some cheap labour ala homestyle. Me, who has never painted a wall in my life spent 5 hours painting 1 room and 4 cupboard doors. Big Al is totally swamped at work with a deadline for tomorrow, so at the moment, I am dealing with the physical aspects of the house move alone.

Should I tell you of the melt down we both had, as in Big Al and I. Total meltdown that led to one of those yucky talks anyone in a  good relationship should and will have.

Anyway since I stopped expecting life to be fair and since I lost my I deserve xyz because xyz  attitude, my life with regards to handling issues has been so much easier. So here we are Big Al and I, totally overwhelmed with stuff. We are having major renovations done to the house cause the house is dated. I found the workmen, Big Al cut the deal after lenghty discussion between us and the bank. In come family with, are you serious, no way, we could get you a better deal . Nothing like making you second guess your decision, then all the other stuff,setting up new bills for the new house, paying off old ones, will we or will we nor hire a moving truck. I am yeah he is aye. Work,  do we have enough money for this, is Nikh’s stuff ready for his new daycare, the owner of the flat wants an exact move out date, we finally agree on the date and on top of all this  our normal life still has to go on while all this is taking place, food’s got to be cooked, house kept clean, toddler entertained, you know normal life. Talk about a pressure cooker enviorment. Come Sunday, explosion baby!

We don’t do shouting matches. Never have. Not our style. But we have done and do, snide comments, passive aggressive shit, emotional withdrawal.. you get the drift. So anyway, I had had enough so I drew the first shot and off we were. Yesu! Some of those talks are hard, but you know what, you gotta do it cause you have to get the emotional stuff on the table, feelings and all. It sounded little bit like this

Mrembo: I can’t help if you don’t tell me what is going on with you.

Big Al: There is no point in telling you cause I get shut down, like my issues are non-issues, here is the solution, let’s move on to Mrembo’s issues.

Mrembo: What the fuck are you talking about, that’s what you do to me, and then… blah blah blah.

Big Al: We are fundamentally different in the way we view issues and I have accepted that

Mrembo: That is not fair for you to say….(on something he had said earlier)

and so it went until we finally got to the point of understanding where the other was coming from and as I type this I can’t help but think, what exactly was the issue.(we were both suffering from  having withdrawn from each other and living seperate lives for about 1 week and as a result you start to feel disconnected and unhappy and my spouse don’t give a fig about me feeling begin to crop up) It’s uncomfortable to talk about the issues where you feel your spouse is letting you down and it is hard to hear about your own failings in fulfilling your spouse’s emotional needs. It’s these silent killers that just build and build and because one never talks about it, then one day you find yourself throwing in the towel.

At the end of our convo Big Al said “it’s hard work being married” and I was like “no shit”. (of the two of us, I swear, he almost never swears… me.. .my mouth ain’t so clean)

So yeah, that is how it goes with me. We were laughing today saying, yeah, just bring on something else we can handle it. The good thing is we are on the same page albeit we disagree on a few things here and there, but same page none-the-less and Baby Nikh is such a happy child. He is so happy and glad that  even when both his parents are feeling stressed and stuff, he makes us laugh with his totally genius moments.

In a way I feel energised. I can deal with this. Big Al and I are in it together

I really wish, many times I have wished so, that I was one of those who blogged about happy stuff, good stuff, all is going good in my life, but that’s just not my life, it’s up and down and.. well it is my life and so far I am ok with it. Would I change some things.. you bet.. like MORE MONEY MORE MONEY MORE MONEY, better job, better clothes, better shoes, you get my drift, but would I exchange my life with anyone’s hell no. Do I wish I had someone else’ life. It’s been a long while since that crossed my mind, a very long while.  Would I trade in my husband…. hmm now… if you had asked me this question last week.. I would have been like… maybe , today my answer is hell no!

Have a blessed day. I am off to bed. It is 23.36

I have read through once, forgive me if there are annoying mistakes… but I gotta go sleep.

East African authors

I need recommendations for some East African authors.

If you are a regular reader of this blog you know I love love romance novels and in particular American romance stuff. I devour the stuff with no shame . I also read a lot of general fiction of which I am just getting back into. Few weeks ago I decided to look through the English books section at the central library and was  pleasantly surprised to find a reasonable collection.

Anyway, reason I want some recommendations is because I am in the process of creating a wish list for myself at Amazon and would like to add some more African fiction to my collection.

here’s what you should keep in mind prior to recommending. I do not do, colonial or post colonial stories.. ala Ngugi wa Thiongo. I just don’t. I have no interest at all in that time period. I am more interested in current stuff, more like the short stories in the Kwani series.. but novel of lenght .

About a year ago, Midnighttraintojoburg (hey girl!!) recommended authors one whom I throughly enjoyed, Buchi Ementeta and the South African girl.. (her book in on my wish list)

So go ahead a hit me with some recommendations.

Here’s a list of what I have read in the past three weeks

“An interuption of Everything” – Terry Mcmillan (America general fiction)

“The Devil and Miss Prym” – Paulo Cuehlo (Brazilian general fiction). Got him at the library and they have a number of them so going to knock my self out. Also saw  “The No. 1 Detective” series books by that British author. I have only read one of them, intend to read all of them ever since I heard that the series with Jill Scott in the lead has been a big hit.

Dark Dagger Brotherhood series (5 of them) - JR Ward (America paranormal romance fiction) This is a re-read. Read all the books last year.

“Mercury’s War” – Lora Leigh (American paranormal romance fiction)

A book by Nora Roberts.. actually it was like 3 of them..(instantly forgettable) but entertaining romance

Prior to that I was into self help stuff where I read or tried to read “The Road less travelled” by M. Scott Peck.  While on that wave I also read and finished “They Fuck you up” by James Oliver and “Family First” by Dr. Phil…… eh..   you can tell I was going through some things.  James Oliver’s book was very interesting and had some interesting points.

Don’t know about you guys but I have a hard time reading British prose and that’s not to say I never read British authors. I will but only if I can get it free or really cheap. 

 

Oh and for all you “House” fans, wasn’t the opening of  season 6 or is it 5 just fantabulous.

This post is inspired by the BBC list of great hundred books of which they say most people have only read 6 at most. I had done 20. I know someone who has done like 40 . I think the list was crap. Who likes Charles Dickens etc. I only read those classics because I did literature until Uni and only for my first year at Uni there after I dropped it like hot potatoe cause I just did not click how the lecturer was deciphering plots and stuff. I would be like “where the hell did you get that from… I didn’t get that vibe at all”

Here’s the BBC list

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/3035807.stm

so how many did you do???

hot like faya!

If I could do like she do, her in the white pants.. baby I would be hot  hot! off to practice

(now let’s hope this works)

Enjoy!

 

 

 

and then there is the other version which is more like I do.

Saturday

My saturday has been lazy, cozy and wonderful. Hope yours was the same. Nothing beats an unstressful Saturday where I get to be lazy do things at my own /family pace and still manage to get some house work done.

I did two batches of laundry, went window shopping with Big Al and Nikh for paint and detoured by “Clearance” furniture sale place where I saw a chair that I WANT. Big Al was getting overwhelmed cause I was like, “we should get that one, that one and that one”. In the end he was like  “shut it….. we are not getting anything till we move in. Me I was like “I am getting my chair”.

We got some good news yesterday. We were supposed to get the keys to the new house at the end of the month, however the couple has since moved out and are willing to hand over the keys early next week.  It is absolutely fantastic cause we will have enough time to paint the house…. hence the window shopping for the house and move in slowly while making the deadline for leaving our current apartment. Did I tell you all I viewed the house only once and signed on the dotted line. By the time we found our house, we had  been to so many viewings, Big Al and I were both getting fed up, then there was the fact that we were shopping for a house of a certain size within a certain price range which just made it next to impossible to find something we both felt..”wow” about. So by the time we walked into this house I said to him ..”this is it babes. This is our house”

But I detract from the point of this post, its about my saturday. So yeah that was about all I have done today. It is now 22:10. Big Al has just taken Nikh to put him to bed. Yes it is late but on Saturdays he does this 3.5hr nap in the afternoon, meaning there is no way he is going to bed at his usual time.

After this post I am going to fold a whole load of laudry to put away tomorrow morning cause I want to get up, go running, get back and go grocery shopping before midday and laze the rest of the day away.

Finally I am getting to why I am blogging.

Just finished watching “District 9″. LOVED IT! I don’t think I have told you this but I am a sci-fi chick. All movies sci-fi action adventure I am there.  How many times have I watched “Alien and Aliens and Alien the resurrection”. Some of what I consider the all time best are

•  Predator (The original)
• Alien and Aliens
• The Matrix 1 and Matrix 3 (didn’t feel 2 at all)
• Alien vs Predator (some folks thought it sucked.. I w as entertained)
• District 9

I will admit to not having watched any of the “Star Wars” flicks and therefore do not qualify as a die hard sci-fi fan.. (who said)

Anyway i also watched “Next Day Air”. It has been so long since I laughed like that. Big Al and I both loved it to death.

Whenever I watch movies I usually go to www.imdb.com to check out reviews and comments and was disappointed that “Next Day Air” got a 6.7/10 which I felt was unfair. But Big Al explained it thus. He said that “if you do not know/understand black american culture, then you will not understand some of the jokes, so probably that’s why the low rating”. I think he was on to something.

So that’s it from me. Wanna watch something, check out “Next Day Air” and “District 9″

goodnight.

Last Night – Ladies Circle

So let me tell you about last night. I am still pumped.

First, I was really really proud of me. I held my own, didn’t display my stupidity which tends to rise when I am amongst new, what-I-think -to-be-impressive people! (what a mouthfull). I was calm cool and collected, like James Bond, only the chick version.

Remember I have mentioned that I joined a women’s association and got matched to a mentor. Well my mentor thought it would be good for me to get into another women’s association that is primarily danish. The idea is that through the association I would learn (or as the goverment likes to put it “intergrate”) better into Danish society. Anyway my mentor, let’s call her Annie, thought it would be good for me to get to have a “network” of proffessional danish women. Her being a member, she hooked me up. I passed the “screening interview” back in January. I would have joined then, but I had just started school, and my job so was not willing to commit to something else til i was finished with school. So we agreed that I would attend my first meeting after I was out of school and after the summer break.

That was last night and wow! Oh wow! It was like another world all together. For the firstime since I came to Denmark I was in the presence of women like myself. Duh! not the skin color, but career women with jobs and families. The group is called Ladies Circle. (www.ladiescirlce.org) You can read more about them, but basically it is more like the  Chama za Kina mama groups back home of which my mother has been a member of countless number. Her most current seems to be her most fun. Same principle, though with the added extra of somtimes having presentations from companies etc etc.

So on to the women. These women si kidogo. As in without this hook up, I would never have seen this side of middle class Denmark. My social contacts here are limited to less than a handful of African friends. Actually 3, who are university educated, middle class women. The rest of my of social life consists of my husband’s family. My best friend (if you are reading this, I do consider you my best ) lives in England and she is like my main “friend/conversation outlet. Without her, I would basicallyhave given up on Europe and been a hermit. I love you!

So it was interesting to see what life is like in this part of the social ladder  and very EYE OPENING. Here is the thing, it is the same, whether is it Kenya, Uganda or England. Middle upper class is the same accross the world. Same aspirations, same values, same same same. But I had not been exposed to it here in Denmark.

It was fun to see the number of BMWs, Audis, Toyota (in DK it is a high end car). To note the expensive shoes and clothes, the watches… salala.. the rings.. oh my!

But heres the best part, I held my own baby not in terms of clothes or jewlery, but my own in terms of I was ok in my skin and I loved that. There was a time I would have been awed but I have slowly come to realise that just because my career is in the dumps it does not take away from the fact that I am a sensible, smart, intelligent, self-loving person who has a lot to contribute and add. Due to the financial situation a number of the women there have been dealing with being fired and there I was totally understanding how they feel and thinking.. “we are all the same” no difference at all.

So what did I get out of it apart from the obvious, becoming a member etc. It reinforced that Mrembo has it going on. That I am a woman of worth and as long as I keep on doing my thing to be the best I can be in all facets of my life I am totally ok and I love that.

Be fulfilled.